An Interview with Tim Brownson and John Strelecky

Do you really need a book to be rich and happy? How can parents live a rich and happy life?

John Strelecky and Tim Brownson, authors of How to be Rich and Happy

I was so impressed by How to be Rich and Happy (my review here) that I asked the authors if they could spare the time to answer a few of my questions. As a mother of five, I often experience conflict on how best to use my time and sometimes feel guilty if I don’t devote it entirely to my children. I don’t think it’s just mothers who have this conflict; all parents want the best for their children, and sometimes feel they have to sacrifice their own dreams to ensure a secure environment for them.

There was also a part of me that wondered is a book really necessary? Shouldn’t we already have learned this just from being alive? As you can see, their answers really gave me food for thought and clarified some of the ideas in the book.

Note: any bolded portions in the answers were put there by me.

Why a Book?

I think a lot of people think they already know how to be rich and happy, can this book really teach them anything they don’t know? In your opinion do most people already know the secrets of being rich and happy and just don’t apply them or are they really lacking key knowledge?

Tim: I’m not sure I agree with the initial premise. I believe people *think* they know what will make them rich and happy, but when they achieve whatever they think it is they are left with a sense of “Is this it?” What most people don’t understand in my experience is who they are at their core level of identity. What their values are, what drives them, what beliefs are helping them and what are holding them back. We are all sold the dream of Rich and Happy as being more and more material stuff, but there is way more to it than that. If you lusted after a Ferrari for instance and then one day you were able to afford one, how different do you think you’ll feel in 6 months time? The answer is probably no different at all and it is highly unlikely to make any long term changes to your level of happiness. Yet we still chase more and more material possessions and outward signs of success and continue think the next pay rise, job promotion, speed boat, 7-bedroomed house, diamond encrusted thong is the thing that will put us over the edge and into happiness. It’s bizarre.

John: As an author and speaker I spend quite a bit of time meeting people from varied walks of life and varied geographies. I can state with absolute certainty that the vast, vast majority of people do not know how to be rich and happy. When I ask an audience of 1,000 people about some of the critical components of the rich and happy formula, and ask how many have heard of them or been taught them, I’m lucky if a few hands go up.

It’s a lack of knowledge issue. And if you don’t have the awareness and the knowledge, it’s practically impossible to get the results.

Greedy? Selling out?

One of the most helpful chapters to me in “Rich and Happy” was chapter 11 “Are your money beliefs keeping you poor?” I’d never put too much thought into my beliefs about money, but reading it made me realize that I do have very conflicting beliefs about money. Of course, I’ve always enjoyed having it and spending it, but pursuing it seemed crass. I’m working on changing my beliefs about money to be more positive and supportive, but there is still a fear that the way others see me will change if I actively pursue financial rewards. Have you had this fear and if so, how did you get over worrying if others would see you as greedy or a sell out?

John: One of the reasons we chose a title called How to be Rich and Happy, is it’s provocative. It brings out a reaction in people. Within seconds of telling someone the title and watching their response I can see what types of either supportive or limiting beliefs they have about being happy and money.

I absolutely had the fear you describe in your question. My beliefs were very limiting and they were doing a good job of holding me back. It wasn’t until I learned and used the part of the formula we describe in the book, about finding data points to disprove erroneous and non-supportive beliefs that the fears went away.

While I wish it wouldn’t have taken me as long as it did to learn that piece of the formula and apply it, better at the point it did, than at 51, or 81, or never.

It’s also important to realize that it’s not that you are necessarily actively pursuing financial rewards. It’s that when you do what makes you happy, and you do it well, and it provides a benefit to others in some way, in all likelihood, you will be rewarded financially because of that. We don’t barter much anymore, so when someone receives value from you in some way, odds are, you aren’t going to get a chicken, bag of wheat, or whatever else people used to barter with. They are going to give you money.

The more positive value you provide, then the more money is probably going to come your way. That’s just the way the system works. It’s important to get comfortable and embrace that because if you don’t, it limits your ability to provide as much positive value as possible in the lives of others. And no-one wins in that scenario.

Tim: That has been an issue for me. To price a product as high as we have, made me very uncomfortable indeed to begin with. My job is to help people and I know there is a danger of people thinking I’m purely trying to help lighten the load of their pockets and not much else. John was adamant though and I think right to stick to the price we originally agreed on. This has required a belief change for me, and strangely enough it’s part of the formula. I am pushing myself to look at products and services on a cost versus worth basis. I was originally thinking “Oh shit we’re way more expensive than a traditional book, we can’t charge that!” When really I would have benefited from thinking “Wow, this is a great book with thousands of dollars worth of value to any person prepared to invest their time and energy into it, it’s an absolute bargain!”

Can Parents Really Work on Their Own Rich and Happy Dreams?

Tim: This is a tough one for me because I don’t have kids. However, I think there are so many examples of married people doing whatever they want, whenever they want without their kids suffering. Here’s a question for you. Do you want your kids to really push out in life, to have no fear of trying new things and chasing their dreams, whatever they are? Well it’s up top you to teach them. If you play it safe all the time, you are teaching your kids to do the same. Also, when you look back on your parents lives, would you want to think now that they never chased their dreams because they were concerned of the effect on you? My guess is that if you knew that had happened you’d be quite sad and would have encouraged them to go for it at the time.

John: I’m going to be pretty direct with this one. As a parent myself, I believe that being a good and responsible parent means you are working on your rich and happy dreams.

Kids learn from their parents. No matter how many times you might say, “Do what I say, not what I do,” kids do what you do. So if you aren’t demonstrating how to create and live a life where they are free to do whatever they want, whenever they want, and to pursue that which truly makes their heart come alive, where are they going to get it from? The short answer is, they probably won’t. That’s why I’m lucky if a few hands go up in the audience of 1,000 people. So if you don’t demonstrate living your rich and happy dreams, you are setting your kids up for a life of spending the majority of their time on things that don’t make them happy.

That may sound harsh, but I’ve been researching this for almost twenty years, and it’s 100% true.

There is this terrible and more importantly, completely incorrect belief floating around in society that you can’t put food on the table if you’re spending your time on things that make you happy. This is so wrong! One of the reasons we included so many stories in the How to be Rich and Happy book is because we wanted to illustrate that you can not only put food on the table by choosing to do what you want, when you want, that in reality, that’s the way to put the most food on the table.

People become products of their environment, and since most people don’t put bread on the table by doing something they love to do, the average person starts to think that’s the way the game has to be played. Not the case, not by a long-shot, and people who understand the rich and happy formula don’t just know that, they prove it every day.

I get it that people want to provide for their kids. What good parent doesn’t. It’s important to realize though, what’s that quote from the bible? Give a man a fish and he eats for a day, teach a man to fish and he eats for a life-time. Most parents are giving their kids fish each day, not teaching them how to fish. That’s all fine up until it’s time for the kids to fish on their own. Then they don’t know what to do.

How to Raise Rich and Happy Kids

John:This goes back to my answer to your previous question. It’s not enough to tell them. As parents, we need to demonstrate that our children can be whatever they want, and be happy, by being whatever we want, and by being happy.

In terms of what we should be teaching them, I think that’s entirely up to each parent. If you want your kids to be free, to be rich and happy, then the easiest way to help them is to teach them the rich and happy formula. It’s not complex. Kids can understand it at a relatively young age, and the sooner you start teaching it to them, the sooner they can start applying it in their lives.

There are parts of the formula such as using supporting not limiting words, you can be demonstrating while children are still infants.

The best way to make sure kids don’t inherit the parent’s self-limiting or sabotaging beliefs is for the parent to change those non-supportive beliefs (and behaviors) to empowering ones. If the parent uses and demonstrates the rich and happy formula in the way they live, the kids will pick it up too.

Tim: I think as a parent at some stage you have to accept that you’re doing what you can with the information you have to hand. That is all you can ever do. I certainly think Society and the education system is negligent as a whole with the way we bring kids up. We don’t teach then how to breath properly (over 80% of people breathe incorrectly), we don’t teach them the power of optimistic thinking, we don’t teach them how to deal with conflict or financial issues or even effective ways of minimizing stress. In short, we don’t really prepare them for the real world. Maybe that is where parents can step in and pick up the slack. Kids learn beliefs, in fact all beliefs are learned. So if they are holding self-sabotaging beliefs it’s probably because they learned them from somebody and often it is the parents. It’s at least two days since I have seen the Gandhi quote ‘Be the change you want to see in the world” on Twitter, so may now be a good time to bring it up again. Be the person you want the kids to be, I think that is really all you can do.

For More Information

I’d like to thank Tim and John once again for taking the time to answer my questions so thoughtfully. I feel like I’ve received a coaching session for free and I know many people will feel empowered and encouraged by their words. If you’d like to read more from Tim and John you can of course, buy Rich and Happy or check out their personal websites.

Tim Brownson

John Strelecky