Crazy Apples: Mostly Apple, Lacking Crazy

Or, I’d have preferred a bit more artificial for the money

crazy flavored apples

When I found these Crazy Apples at Schnucks, I knew I’d have to buy them as I’d never gotten around to trying Grapples, the grape flavored apple. I’d always meant to but they cost about $5 for a box of four and you only get one flavor!

These Crazy Apples, on the other hand, were on sale for the not-very-reasonable-but-somehow-justifiable price of 2 for $3 and I had my choice of three flavors: Bubble Gum, Tropical Blast and Pomegranate Grape.

crazy apple ingredients

There’s really nothing to be offended by in the ingredients, if you’d like to see a larger version of this photo and the rest, visit my Flickr. The website doesn’t say exactly how the apples are infused with the flavor, but it does say this:

That cracks me up. It’s like Dudes! Sometimes these companies are all like, hey y’all all our junk is natural but then it’s like you look and find out it’s not natural, it’s made of MEAT!

In any case it’s easy to say what you mean and mean what you say when you use totally non-ambigious words like natural.

Yup, it’s an apple. Even has the fuji label to prove it. This is the bubble gum flavored apple, the other two were both pink ladys. I’m not sure if that’s on purpose or coincidence.

In any case, I’m glad it’s not a golden delicious. That’s one double-lie of an apple, I tell you what.

crazy apple

Cut open, it looks and smells no different than an ordinary apple. There was a very faint whiff of bubble gum scent, but it mostly smelled and tasted like an apple. So it was delicious, but not wild or wacky and by no stretch of the imagination could I call this apple crazy.

The pomegranate grape had a stronger aroma and taste but even still it was more like first chewing some old school bubble gum, spitting it out, drinking some water, walking around a bit and then having some water. The tropical blast was between the two in intensity and kept giving me faint, elusive flashbacks to some sort of gum or candy of my childhood. If only it had been stronger, that crazy apple could have been my madeleine. But no, it was just a slightly off tasting fruit.

These weren’t nearly as bad as I thought they would be. In fact, they are pretty darn good because they taste like good apples and not those disgusting mealy “golden” “delicious”. My kids did go crazy and beg to try them after seeing the packaging and reading the labels, but since they already eat more fruit than an entire zoo full of monkeys, it’s not worth the premium for me to pay to try to get them to eat even more. Trust me, after a certain point, feeding kids fruit is not an entirely desirable goal.

Really, the question is, why are food scientists tinkering with the taste of apples, which almost everyone likes, when people come to this blog on a daily basis trying to find out why papaya tastes like vomit?

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