I Hate My Message Board » The Museum of Snack Foods I Own

The Six Grodiest Foods I’ve Tried So Far

Tracy — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 15:28:19 +0000

Or, I’m sick, it’s almost Halloween, yeah, I think I’ll do a round up list post. Click on the links to read the full posts!

Haggis in a Can

This one ultimately wasn’t that disgusting, but I only got to the point where I could eat it by convincing myself it was just like black pudding. That might not work for everyone.

I’m not one of those bloggers that gets a lot of hate mail, but this post has gotten me a few indignant replies. Don’t knock it til you try it, they say. Yeah, well don’t be getting all pissy at me until you’ve read my dang post and see that I almost puked just dipping my finger in the brain juice. So I did try it. Oooh, scuzz.

Okay, as a person who eats and enjoys Spam on occasion I have to say you are setting yourself up for a LIFE OF MISERY if you can’t find a way to make peace that people are going to mock your choice in canned goods. That is something my life coach taught me and I am sharing it with you all <– see, THAT’S why I should win good mood blogger.

Chicken in a can

This is the most viewed post on my blog. The funny thing is, I think if I’d been able to just pull the chicken out of the can as I’d planned instead of having to pour it out, the post wouldn’t have been nearly as popular. Handling the chicken was pretty disgusting, but the taste wasn’t that bad. It wasn’t good, either. Really the taste wasn’t there.

Cheeseburger in a can

I wasn’t the first person by far to taste and post this, but as far as I know I am the only one who served it with spring mix and a blood orange garnish.

Fish and Cheese Sausage

I tried this one earlier this week. I still have that phantom old dried fish powder smell stuck in my nose.

Silkworm Pupa in a Can

I don’t know why I wasn’t content just to let my brother try this one, but after we taped this, I went and tried one and prompted yakked in the sink. Oy, I think it was the hot dog water smell that made me sick.

You can see more of my food posts here. Let me know in comments the grodiest foods you’ve tried!Similar Posts:

It’s a rubbery sausage! Made of fish! And cheese!

Tracy — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 03:15:41 +0000

Or, my unofficial entry into the IHMMB Scary Products Contest, with video

Fish and cheese sausage from Korea

The packages sure are cute, aren’t they. Maybe the one with the boy holding the giant sausage and licking his lips is vaguely alarming, but mostly cute. My mom bought these for me at Winchester Farmer’s Market, where you can buy all sorts of international goodies. She thought my boys might eat them for after school snacks.

I wish I’d asked her what the package said, because all I can read is NEW EZ Cut just like the rest of you. For the record, the cut was not that easy, but it was somewhat satisfying to pop them out. Almost anything you pop will be satisfying, I find.

I always offer nutritional information, if available, as a service to my readers.

I wonder why they specified frozen whole eggs. Wouldn’t they have thawed by now? It makes me suspicious, like that’s code for something in the food industry.

Fish paste product, keep refrigerated, hmmmm. I only noticed this, oh as I sat down to write this post and it was on the shelf when we bought it and has been on my shelf since August. I am not dead yet so I think it must be CYA. Fish paste product does sound unappetizing, but I’ve used anchovy paste often enough so it doesn’t put me off.

Oh yes, that’s right, I love anchovies. Judge me, go ahead, I dare you. And I sneak it in my family’s food and they just think it’s FLAVOR, so there.

It looks kind of like a food product but really not.

It kind of perplexes me that the larger sausages in the container marked EZ cut did not have the EZ Cut opening, while the smaller ones in the package that wasn’t marked as such did. In any case, EZ Cut was marginally easier to open. Only marginally. Those little tabs are hard for old fingers to grasp!

Eh, not too appealing, is it? At first, it tastes like nothing but feels like squeaky, artificial cheese. Then it tastes like old, powdery dried fish. Which is not exactly unappealing to me, since I grew up eating whole dried tiny anchovies, head and all, but combined with the texture it was inedible.

As for the texture? Well I took a video to demonstrate. Excuse the messy back yard, we’ve had lots of rain and when it wasn’t raining we were busy. I would have made it longer but my kids kept screaming in the background. Can you imagine the kinds of food posts I’m going to get to do when they all go off to college? It’s going to be awesome.

By the way, my voice doesn’t really sound like that. It sounds much smarter. For reals y’all. Any my neighbor came home and saw me taking the photos on the front porch and he was all “Hi neighbor! How’s it going there?” so I told him I was taking pictures of this fish and cheese sausage to post on the internet because I couldn’t think of a good lie. I’m only a little disappointed that he didn’t seem to wonder why one would do such a thing, but I guess he’s seen a lot.

And get your entry into the IHMMB Scary Products Contest! Thursday at midnight CST is your cut off. There aren’t many entries yet so you could totally win this thing!

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Korean Noodle Salad: Chapchae or Japchae

Tracy — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 02:56:28 +0000

Or, I told you, my mom can COOK!

Chapchae

Chapchae is one of my favorite dishes traditionally served at large Korean dinners for special occasions. When I was growing up, my mother’s Korean church would have a huge Korean Thanksgiving feast. Most of the women and some of the men would dress up in their hanboks (traditional Korean clothing) and there would be so much food. My mom would fill a huge picnic cooler full of cooked rice to bring and spend days making all sorts of yummy food for the banquet.

There are a lot of steps involved in making chapchae but the end result is worth it. This recipe makes quite a bit, so be prepared to eat it for days or share with friends and family. I don’t think it freezes well because most of the appeal is in the crisp texture of the fresh vegetables and the noodles would get funky. You can certainly scale the recipe down and add or subtract amounts to suit your own tastes.

This is an excellent recipe for vegetarians, it’s delicious without the meat and substantial enough to make a light meal. The only ingredients that might not be easily found at a regular supermarket are the sweet potato noodles and dried mushrooms. You could substitute fresh mushrooms, although I like the chewier texture of dried in this dish. Sweet potato noodles are available at most Asian groceries, but if your local shop doesn’t carry them, I’ve used other varieties of glass or cellophane noodles (such as bean threads) with great success.

If your supermarket has an excellent fresh salad bar, I see nothing wrong with cheating and buying some of the vegetables already sliced to save a bit of prep work.

Chapchae (Japchae) recipe

Ingredients

1 1.5 lb bag of sweet potato noodles
1 ounce dried shitake mushrooms
1 ounce dried black mushrooms (you can use all of one kind or substitute mushrooms. If you hate mushrooms leave them out, but that’s kind of crazy talk)
1/2-1 lb of beef marinated for bulgogi or a beef ribeye steak sliced into thin strips (this is a good use for leftover bulgogi, but if you don’t have any and don’t have time to prepare some, plain beef works. You could also use thinly sliced pork tenderloin or chicken or mix it up. Or, as I said, omit the meat altogether)
1.5 cups or thereabouts of thinly sliced bell peppers. I like a mix of colors, but use whatever is good and fits your pocketbook (I know around here red, yellow and orange bell peppers are sometimes outrageous)
1 or 2 medium onions thinly sliced. Just plain white or yellow ones, you could substitute some purple ones but it will make the dish sweeter.
2 medium carrots cut into matchsticks
1 bunch of broccoli florets, sliced into thin pieces. Actually this is probably too much, so snack on some raw broccoli while you are cooking. You can also peel and thinly cut the stems into matchsticks and use them, too. This is in no way a traditional ingredient but it tastes good and adds nutrition, so in it goes.
2 10 ounce bags of spinach. They say it’s washed, but go on and wash it again.
4-6 cloves of garlic
1/2 cup of soy sauce plus extra for seasoning the spinach and beef if you’re not using bulgogi
2 Tablespoons of sesame oil plus a little extra to season the spinach and beef and stir fry the noodles

chapchae mixture

First, put the mushrooms in some water to rehydrate according to package instructions. This takes about an hour. When they are soft, squeeze out all the liquid and slice into thin strips and put aside.

If you are using leftover bulgogi, you are set. If you are using bulgogi that isn’t cooked, stir fry it and reserve the liquid (this is extra flavor). If you are using plain beef, mix up a bit of sesame oil, soy sauce and a minced or crushed garlic clove or two and stir it into the beef and then stir fry.

Stir fry the mushrooms and 2 cloves of minced garlic in a bit of vegetable oil for a few minutes, remove, then stir fry the onions, bell peppers, carrots until tender but still quite crisp and put aside.

Blanch the broccoli in a pot of salted, boiling water. Take out and put in a bowl of ice water to set the color and stop cooking, then drain well and put aside.

Blanch the spinach very briefly in a pot of boiling water. Drain and rinse with cold water and then squeeze as much liquid as possible out with your hands. You will be shocked at how little there is left. In a bowl, combine with a clove or two of minced garlic, a few splashes of sesame oil and a bit of soy sauce. This is actually really good served on its own just like this.

Boil a large pot of water, then add the sweet potato noodles. It only takes about five minutes to cook, you’ll want them tender but not at all mushy. Drain in a colander and rinse with cold water until cool. Use kitchen shears to cut them into 5-6 inch lengths for easier eating. It’s much, much easier to cut them after cooking!

My mom cutting noodles for chapchae

This next step can be skipped but my mom says it’s good for keeping the noodles from getting too mushy from absorbing liquid from the other ingredients. The key is to use as little oil as possible, only enough to give the noodles a light coat.

In a very large frying pan or wok, heat up a little bit of sesame oil. Add the noodles, tossing them quickly with tongs or chopsticks and stir fry for a minute or two. Depending on the size of your pan, this might be better done in two batches.

Put the noodles into a very large mixing bowl and add in all of the other ingredients. Toss together with tongs or your hands. Add in about 1/2 cup of soy sauce and 2 tablespoons of sesame oil and a few shakes of black pepper, if desired, and toss some more. Taste for seasoning, and if necessary add more soy sauce or sesame oil or even a little salt.

I think chapchae is best served at room temperature, but you can eat it straight out of the fridge, cold or warm it in the microwave. It will keep for about 2 days in the fridge.

You can certainly add toasted sesame seeds if you like them and garnish with sliced spring onions. I’ve tasted other recipes that seemed to have sugar in them, but I like my mom’s version with no sugar best. By all means add other vegetables you’d think would be good, shredded napa cabbage is one I’ve seen, but take care to squeeze all the moisture out of really juicy ones.

Please let me know if you’ve try the recipe and how you enjoyed it and I’ll be glad to answer any questions in the comments section.

Yummy chapchae!

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Bulgogi: Korean Fire Meat

Tracy — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 03:17:19 +0000

Or, marinated grilled beef strips, Korean-style

Grilled bulgogi. I suppose there is no need for a disclaimer that I am not a food stylist or photographer.

Bulgogi (also spelled pulgogi) is a great introduction to Korean cooking if you like beef. It’s simple to make from regular grocery store ingredients, tastes amazing and serves as a component of other dishes such as kimbap, chapchae and bibimbap. Feel free to play around with the ingredients, no two Korean moms in my experience have made it exactly the same way and my own mother wings it every time. You can try adding a bit of grated ginger to the marinade or some toasted sesame seeds or grated Asian pear. I’ve never really had a bad bulgogi so don’t be afraid to let loose. You’ll notice it’s extremely similar to Kalbi, the difference is the cut of meat used.

You can use several different cuts of beef to make bulgogi. Sirloin would probably be the most traditional, but you can pretty much anything that would be sold as London Broil as the thin slices and marinating time make the meat tender. You could also use ribeye which would be a bit pricey but good or skirt or flank steak cut against the grain (these two cuts are also excellent marinated whole and grilled). I’d probably look for something without too much gristle but a bit of marbling for flavor. Freeze the meat for 15-20 minutes before you slice it so that it will be easier to cut into thin strips.

When I made it with my mother, we used 3 lbs of beef to have leftovers to use for other recipes the next day. You can easily scale down this recipe and only make as much as you need. Or, you could make the full amount and freeze half right away. It will marinate as it defrosts and will be delicious.

Tracy’s Mom’s Bulgogi (the best you’ll ever taste, of course!)

3 lbs of beef (sirloin or another cut of your choosing) sliced into thin strips.
1/2 small onion sliced thin
5 small to medium cloves garlic, crushed (use your taste, Koreans like a lot of garlic)
1 tablespoon sesame oil
1/2 cup soy sauce
1 teaspoon black pepper
1/4 cup brown sugar (adjust to taste)
3 green onions sliced on the diagonal into 2 inch pices

In a large bowl mix all of the marinade ingredients together, taste and adjust for seasoning. You could add more sugar if it seems too salty. Add beef and mix everything together, preferably with your hands. Cover and marinate in the fridge for at least an hour, up to about 24.

Bulgogi with marinade

When you are ready to cook the bulgogi you have a couple of options. The best way is to make a fire outside in your grill and put the meat on when it’s ready (I have no idea about temperatures but you’ve got good judgment). The meat will cook quickly, about 1-2 minutes per side. Serve with rice, lettuce leaves (to make little bundles), Korean hot bean paste (kochujang) or other condiment of choice and vegetables or something wholesome like that. Kimchi would be excellent.

If you don’t want to grill outside, you could grill inside on a Foreman type grill or stovetop grill pan. If you have some sort of little electric grill that could go on a table, you can let your guests grill their own! In a pinch, you could even get out a big frying pan and just stir fry the meat. It’s a bit different, since it won’t have that lovely grilled taste, but will have lots of tasty juice that I used to love pouring over my rice as a kid.

I hope you enjoy this recipe and in a week or so, I’ll share the recipe for chapchae, a delicious noodle salad that usually has bits of bulgogi (but is also extremely tasty as a vegetarian dish for my readers that don’t eat meat).Similar Posts:

Kalbi: the best beef ribs you’ll ever taste

Tracy — Sat, 05 Sep 2009 14:28:57 +0000

Or, my mom’s kalbi recipe (aka galbi)

My mom often hosts fellowship dinners for her Korean church at her house. The highlight of these dinners is the huge platters of grilled short ribs which are called kalbi or galbi in Korean. You can eat them plain off the ribs or cut off bits of the meat and wrap them with a bit of rice and kochujang (red pepper paste) in lettuce. One of our favorite ways to eat them when I was a kid was to take the meat off the bone and serve on a hoagie roll with a bit of mayo.

Kalbi is easy to make at home, the most difficult part will be finding the short ribs. There are two kinds of short rib cuts commonly available. If you can’t find them at your grocery store, ask at the meat counter if you can special order some.

Flanken style is cut across three bones and looks like a strip of meat with three eyes:

Flanken style ribs marinated for kalbi

I’ve seen them occasionally at my regular supermarket and can reliably get them at the local Asian markets. You’ll want them sliced fairly thin, if it’s too thick the kalbi will burn before being cooked through. I would get about a 1/4″ thick rib if I liked my meat well done and up to about a 1/2″ inch cut if I liked it on the rare side.

The other way is simply beef ribs cut into 3 or so inch sections like this:

Bone in short ribs to be used for kalbi

Note: you can sometimes find boneless short ribs that will look like the cut above, minus the bone (duh). You’ll prepare it much the same way. The bone in ribs require a bit of special cutting to be cooked on the grill. It’s hard to explain but basically you’re going to slice the meat away from the bone making it into a long strip that unfolds kind of like a Jacob’s ladder.

Cutting short ribs for kalbi

After you’re done cutting it will look like a bone with a long tail of meat.

Short ribs with meat tails for kalbi

See all that fat? You don’t want to eat that all the time, but man when you do, it’s good. This is the kind of meal that will leave you with satisfyingly greasy faces and fingers!

With either kind of rib, you’ll want to rinse them well before marinating because there can be little fragments of bone on the meat from when they were sawed. I did two different marinades for each batch, both are good and are interchangeable. As with all my recipes, feel free to adjust for your own taste! I am more a guideline type person than a rules type.

Kalbi Batch One:

8 lbs of flanken style ribs. I know this seems like a ton and there is no need for you to make this many! This amount fed my family two dinners (3 adults, 1 teenage boy, 4 small boys). My family eats a lot, though and my husband and oldest son hadn’t had these in ages and overindulged. Generally speaking, you’d have kabli as part of a larger dinner including rice and other sides, plus it’s quite rich and fatty. My mom always makes too much and then freezes a couple of meal sized batches right after putting in the marinade.

1 Cup Soy Sauce (we use Kikoman brand)

2 Cups Water

1 Medium Onion grated or shredded (can use food processor or box grater, you’ll want it juicier than you’d get from just cutting finely with a knife)

1/2 Tablespoon Black Pepper

1 Tablespoon good quality Sesame Oil (you might want to add more than this)

1/2 Tsp Salt (I’d wait to add this until after I mixed the rest of the ingredients and tasted)

1/2 Cup Brown Sugar (It does need to be a little sweet, but if you want to watch your sugar, start with 1/4 cup and then taste and add more. You don’t want it sickly sweet, but the sugar brings out the richness of the meat and counters the saltiness of the soy sauce)

5 Medium Garlic cloves, crushed

Mix all the marinade ingredients together, taste and adjust seasonings accordingly. Add meat. Marinate in refrigerator for at least 6 hours but we go overnight usually or even up to 48 hours (this recipe doesn’t have any ingredients like kiwi or cola that would really mushy up the meat so you can let the meat sit in it for quite a while)

When you are ready, prepare your grill and cook the meat over a medium hot flame. Beware of flare ups from the dripping fat! These cook really fast, probably 2 minutes per side. You’ll want bits around the edges to be charred but don’t overcook. Most Koreans I know like the meat well done, but my father and I like it medium rare.

Serve with hot Korean style rice (I use the calrose variety), kochujang, lettuce leaves for making bundles and any other Korean side dishes you can rustle up. Or you know, some steamed broccoli or something for nutrition. It’s all good.

BTW, one of the greatest kitchen tools known to mankind are kitchen shears/scissors. I use them to cut the meat into bite sized pieces for my little one or into bits to make lettuce bundles. It’s so much more efficient than trying to use a knife! Look for ones that pop apart and can be put in the dishwasher for easy cleaning.

Kalbi Batch Two

3 Lbs of bone in short ribs, meat cut away from the bone to form a tail (this would be enough for me, my husband and the 4 little boys – they could eat more but this would be sufficient!)

1 medium Asian pear, peeled

1 medium white onion

1/2 cup soy sauce

1 cup water

1/2 tablespoon black pepper

2 tablespoons sesame oil

1/3 cup brown sugar

5 cloves of garlic

Asian pear will add sweetness and help tenderize the meat. Other recipes I’ve seen call for kiwi to do this, but I’ve never tried it that way, maybe next time. I’ve also seen recipes that call for some sort of soak in soda to tenderize the meat, but again, I’ve not tried it. I don’t know, I think sometimes people forget this is meat and you’re supposed to need to chew it a bit to get it down.

Cut the pear and onion and garlic (if very large) into chunks and put them in the food processor or blender. Add all the other ingredients, whirr around until pretty much liquid and taste. Adjust seasonings if necessary and when it’s all good, pour over your meat. Marinate and grill as described above.

NOTES:

If you’d like, you can add 2-3 inch sections of spring onions to either recipe and cook them on the grill. They are so good!

If you don’t have a grill or don’t want to go through all the fuss, you can broil them or cook on the stove top on a grill pan. Beware, this will probably completely fill your kitchen with smoke unless you have a great ventilation system. You could also use something like a George Foreman grill.

You could use this same marinade for chicken.

Hope you’ve enjoyed this recipe for kalbi. Let me know if you have any questions or how it turned out! If you have a recipe for kabli, I’d love to see it!Similar Posts:

The World’s Best Egg Roll Recipe

Tracy — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 19:34:35 +0000

Or, my mom’s claim to fame!

Egg rolls with sweet soy sauce and rice vinegar dipping sauce

The other day I went to pick up some Chinese take out and smiled to myself because in the corner there were 3 teenagers peeling lumpia wrappers and chatting. I think most of my conversations with my mom during my teen years took place around the dining room table while she made egg rolls and I had to peel hundreds of lumpia wrappers. There was something very satisfying and soothing about teasing the delicate sheets of dough apart from each other without ripping too many and with my hands occupied it seemed that my tongue was loosened and it didn’t seem so strange to talk with my mother.

She made hundreds at a time for every potluck and gathering; weeks before the event people would ask to be sure that she was going to make them. When my FBLA chapter needed to raise money to go to the national convention, my mom made two hundred every week for a month and we’d sell out in minutes at a dollar a pop. We should have tried for two bucks, but we were only the future business leaders of America, you see and didn’t really understand maximizing profits.

I’ve tried my own hand at making egg rolls over the years and while mine are good, they pale in comparison to my moms. Hers are never greasy or heavy, but crisp and light and you can taste more than just a vague sense of “fried”. Here is the recipe as best we could pin it down, but it’s something that changes every time you make it, as you adjust for the subtle differences in the season’s produce or atmosphere or your own mood.

As frustrating as these sorts of vague recipes can be for the novice cook, remember that when there is no precise way to make something there is no way to really get it wrong. Your first ones will not be perfect, but they will be good and as your experience grows they will be better still. Feel free to experiment and substitute!

Also note, this recipe makes a lot. I think we got 90 egg rolls from this batch. You can scale it down quite easily. Any excess freeze beautifully; I’ll explain more at the end of the recipe.

Tracy’s Mom’s World Famous Egg Rolls

(note all amounts are approximate)

2.5-3 lbs of ground beef, cooked through and drained off all fat. You can even rinse it and dry thoroughly.
2 6 ounce packages of frozen salad shrimp, thawed and drained. You can omit or use larger shrimp chopped coarsely.

1 medium head white cabbage, shredded
2 medium napa cabbages shredded
5-6 carrots julienned
3 medium onions julienned

450 grams (about 1 lb) Korean sweet potato starch noodles, prepared according to package instructions, drained and cut into 2 inch lengths with kitchen shears

1 cup or more of oyster sauce

3 eggs beaten lightly

1 cup or more of plain breadcrumbs

salt
pepper

90-100 lumpia wrappers, thawed if frozen

Vegetables for egg rolls

In a very large mixing bowl combine cabbages, carrots and onions and sprinkle with a couple of teaspoons of plain table salt. Let sit for 30-60 minutes to allow the salt to penetrate the vegetables to release excess liquid. Rinse thoroughly and drain.

The most important secret to making good egg rolls is to squeeze as much moisture as possible out of the vegetables, otherwise the finished product will be soggy and heavy. In the past, my mother would put the vegetable mixture into a clean pillowcase and have my father wring it out, but this time we just took handfuls of it and squeezed as hard as possible with our hands. Put the squeezed vegetables in a large mixing container (we used a clean dishpan) and combine with the cooked and drained beef, the shrimp, the noodles, oyster sauce and about a tablespoon of pepper.

Egg roll filling mixture

Mix well with your hands then taste for seasoning. If it seems bland, add a bit more oyster sauce and/or pepper. You can add a little salt but probably won’t need to as the vegetables will be a little salty and the oyster sauce is full of salt, too. Add the raw, beaten eggs and breadcrumbs and mix well with your hands again. The mixture should look like the picture.

Egg roll filling, ready for wrapping

Set the mixture aside, covered in the fridge, while you peel your lumpia wrappers. There are a few different brands on the market, we use Simex brand. If you can get it, they have a version that comes with the wrappers separated by waxed paper which is much easier to separate (you can save the paper to freeze the egg rolls later). If the only kind you can find is the one without waxed paper, it’s fine, too just a little more tricky. Any ones that are completely mangled can be set aside to provide patches for other torn ones.

Egg roll

Rolling the egg rolls takes practice, but after you do a few it should go rather quickly. It’s a lot like rolling a burrito. Put a few tablespoons of filling a couple of inches from the edge, leaving space at the sides. Fold the bottom up over the mixture, then fold the two sides in and roll. You’ll want to try and make it snug and tight but don’t fret if they seem a little lumpy at first. Place them seam side down in a container and go to town.

Step one egg roll wrapping

Step 2 egg roll wrapping

Step 3 egg roll wrapping

Step 4 egg roll wrapping

Finished egg roll

We've got a ways to go before we're finished!

To cook the eggrolls, heat about half an inch of vegetable oil in a skillet over a medium hot burner (I use 6 or 7 on my range, but you know your stove best). When the oil is hot (I guess around 375 – I test by putting the end of a wooden chopstick in the oil and if lots of bubbles form around it, it’s good) put a few egg rolls in seam side down and fry until golden brown and then flip and fry the other side. Drain well on paper towels or do like my mom does and put them in a metal colander standing up on end to drain out the excess oil. Serve hot with dipping sauce of your choice. You can use store bought sweet and sour sauce, Chinese hot mustard or my favorite, soy sauce mixed with rice vinegar. In the picture, I have used sweet soy sauce (Ketsap manis) mixed about equally with rice vinegar. You can also use plain soy sauce mixed with rice vinegar, just combine to taste. It’s good with toasted sesame seeds floating on top, if you have any.

Inside of cooked egg roll

To Freeze Egg Rolls:

I have frozen egg rolls uncooked successfully by freezing them on a cookie sheet lined with waxed paper until hard and then putting in freezer bags. When you’re ready to eat them, thaw and fry as before. You can also fry them frozen, but that tends to get really messy and dangerous with the hot oil splattering, even if I think they are crispier that way.

My mom freezes them after she cooks them. After they are cooled, wrap them in waxed paper and put in a freezer bag. You can also freeze them on trays as described above. Thaw and fry. She says they are less soggy if you cook them first, then freeze but I haven’t done a side by side comparison.

Substitutions:

As I said above, this is a very flexible recipe. If you don’t want to use all ground beef, you can substitute some or all of it with ground pork or ground chicken. Even ground turkey, I guess but I don’t know how that would taste (I’m not a ground turkey fan). You could omit the shrimp or add more if you want a really shrimpy flavor.

For a vegetarian version you can simply omit the meat and shrimp and use vegetarian oyster sauce. I’ve made egg rolls for years without any eggs so you could omit those, too. If you want a bit of protein, you could add tofu but try to get as much moisture out as possible first. I like making tofu crumbles by freezing the tofu, thawing then wrapping it in a clean, lint free cloth and squeeze out all the water. Put it in a bowl and break into crumbles with a fork. You could also use baked or deep fried tofu cut into slivers.

The Koren sweet potato starch vermicelli is available at most Asian markets. If you can’t find it, I’ve substituted clear rice noodles in the past with good results. You could also leave them out.

Lumpia wrappers are available at most Asian markets as well and some supermarkets. I’ve only found them frozen. Regular eggroll wrappers will work, but will be much more doughy, like a Chinese food buffet egg roll. Once, in Ireland I couldn’t find lumpia wrappers and used frozen phyllo dough sheets! It worked, but the finished product tasted a bit floury – still good but if you can get them, use the lumpia wrappers.

I have no idea where egg rolls end and spring rolls and proper lumpia begin. I think it’s all good.

If you are making a ton of egg rolls for a large event, my mom used to fry them and drain them very well and then stack them in one of those large rectangular chafing dishes to keep warm. They are best right out of the pan, of course, but are still very good for quite a while after cooking. I am not expert in food safety, so use your common sense in how long to keep them at room temperature. Any leftovers are perfectly acceptable to eat heated in the microwave the next day, although not as crispy.

Please note if you omit any ingredients, the volume of mixture will be less and the recipe won’t yield as many egg rolls.

If you liked this recipe, please feel free to share it on Facebook, Stumble Upon or Twitter. Thanks and stay tuned for more great recipes from my mom’s visit!Similar Posts:

The world’s saddest lollypies

Tracy — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 19:25:04 +0000

Or, I know I already posted once today but these were truly pathetic and I need a hug

It's a lollypop! It's a pie! It's a lollypie!

I got the idea from this impossibly beautiful post by Luxirare.

Only you know, I am sort of the anti-Luxirare. That’s why my misshapen little pies are in a rice measuring cup instead of some sort of specialty lucite lollypie holder. I also am not really one to go back and consult the recipe while cooking so I just sort of did what I remembered. And yeah, there was ooze and there were ominous cracks but I just ate one and it was delicious and I’m not dead yet, so while part of me weeps for a world where there are labels for individual lollpie wrappers and little jars for filling the other part of me is like “urrp, that were good, can I have another?”

PS yes I know all my food pictures have the same background. That’s because my kitchen is a cave so I just take everything out to my front porch. I’m waiting for somebody to ask me what on earth I am doing. Thank goodness for no HOA!Similar Posts:

Ever Wonder What the Museum of Snack Foods Looks Like?

Tracy — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 17:56:58 +0000

Or yes, I really do have a stockpile of unusual foods in my house

The museum of snack foods

Is it not impressive and festive with all of the Christmas lights? The lights were there when we moved in, I’m not sure what the point of putting decorative lights in an area of the house that nobody sees from the inside or outside is, but we’ve also lived here an entire year and the only picture I have on the walls is this colored pencil drawing of kittens the neighbors gave me for the boys. And even that I just sort of stuck up on an existing nail in the wall because I didn’t want the kids to mess up the picture. So yeah, not really into the whole “decorating” thing.

The milk, rice and seaweed are not strictly speaking part of the museum, they just live there. To see a larger, more grainy and blurrier version, check out my Flickr.Similar Posts:

Men’s Pocky

Tracy — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 04:35:21 +0000

Or, I am such a mean mother I make my child write my blog for me

My 13 year old son wanted to have a go at doing a Museum of Snack Food post and since a kid needs a summer job and this is Men’s Pocky, I thought why not? So, without further ado, here is Nicholas’s review of Men’s Pocky.

Mr Pocky Review

You all know Pocky, but for those not in the know, Pocky is a type of desert/snack food from Japan. It’s pretzel stick dipped in milk chocolate, or strawberry flavored cream. But what you may NOT know is that there is, indeed, a Pocky for men.

Pocky ingredients and nutrition information

That’s right. You may, like me, have thought at one point “Pocky is just not manly enough!”. Well now it is, with the advent of Mr. Pocky

Men's Pocky

What makes Mr. Pocky for men different than regular Pocky? It has been coated in dark chocolate instead of milk chocolate.

Sticks of pocky for men

Its not a good idea to lick it, as then the chocolate will melt. It tasted pretty good. Like a crunchier dark chocolate, after you ate a pretzel stick. The aftertaste is…weird. Hard to describe, kinda like darker then dark chocolate. After a few minutes though,the aftertaste becomes a sort of bitter feeling on your tounge. You can also suck it like a lollipop, if you so choose. Also, if you put a small bit in your mouth, and keep the rest out of your mouth, it looks awesome. Not a good idea to eat it outside during a hot day though.

I give Mr. Pocky a final score of 8.4 out of 10. Tasty, but the bitterness that kicks in about a minute or two after you eat one is untasty. Also, regular Pocky tastes slightly better.

Thanks Nicholas!

If you can’t find it in your area, You can buy Pocky from Amazon along with a wide assortment of other Japanese candies.Similar Posts:

The Museum Of Snack Foods

Tracy — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 18:00:34 +0000

And have not eaten, until now.

I buy a lot of snack foods on a whim.

Then I take them home and shove them in cupboards and don’t eat them. I am running out of cupboard space and must make my way through them. This is my journey.

List of posts:

People who need pupa are the pluckiest people

A taste test of canned silkworm pupa, including video. Not to be missed.

A WHOLE chicken in a CAN

Exactly what it says.

Front of can of pork brains with milk gravy, Rose brand

Pork brains and milk gravy

I wanted to like it, just to be contrary, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it!

Haggis in a Can

Freaking beefy oatmeal!

Fish and cheese sausage!

Watch it wiggle!