Here, have some deformed corn

Or, who says nature is perfect?

Deformed corn

Deformed corn - is this how baby corn is made?

IMPORTANT! If you are here from Google having searched for information about your toe corns I am afraid I can’t help you but I do wish you a safe and speedy recovery! You too bunion and hammertoe sufferers! One day Google will figure out that I can’t help anyone, much less those suffering from valid afflictions and will remove me from their search results. Until then, it’s hardly my fault that deformed corns are a vegetable and a foot problem.

Anyway, this deformed corn kind of freaked me out. You know those shows on cable tv where people go around their entire life and one day find out totally by accident that they used to be twins but they ate their twin and now they have headaches because they’ve got their twin’s eyeball and toenails growing in their brain? This corn reminds me of that.

What will happen if corn evolves working arms?

Really, though, I’m a huge believer in Evolution. Huge fan. I think it’s just about the neatest thing ever. Just think, billions of years ago we just had some  primordial ooze and now look at us with our iPads and Tivos and ability to put anything in a can. It’s nothing short of breath-taking.

Until I really think about it and then I get a bit woozy. I’m just going to say it, anything to do with reproduction, sexual or otherwise, freaks me the heck out. Ever seen how slime mold grows?

I mean it’s pulsating. Pulsating!

I do have to admit that the mushrooms are kind of trippy though.

Now look at this.

THIS is happening in your body every day. Every single day. In your body. Whether you want it to or not. No wonder we feel so frazzled all the time!

And sometimes things mutate. Instructions go haywire. You accidentally absorb your own twin. And there isn’t much you can do about it except for eat a lot of antioxidants and pray.

Forget about trying to control your kids or your coworkers or the traffic, you can’t even control your cells!

So yeah, when I find some corn like this I have to wonder, what’s really going on here? Is this some tragic freak accident where we could have had three tasty ears of corn but instead just have one and two sad floppy ones that nobody wants to eat? Or are we watching evolution in action and this is the first step towards corn developing appendages and sentience and standing up and refusing to be the bad guys that everybody hates in our war against obesity?

I don’t know the answers. I don’t expect you to know the answers. I just think that maybe it’s time we started a dialogue about what’s going on with our vegetables. I for one would be happy if they took over and we could all become robots and I’d never have to sit alone in the dark thinking about my cells dividing again.

PS have noticed that the slime mold video has an ad for indoor hydroponic growing kits on it. What kind of sick freak would want to grow slime mold indoors?!?!

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