How I do it all

Or, the answer to the number one question that people ask me

 

Even before I started freelancing, people would often ask me how I did it all. Or they told that me they’d kill themselves if they were me, which I guess is a different way of saying the same thing. At least I hope it is. It’s sometimes hard to read tone offline because most people don’t carry around emoticon cards to flash to avoid ambiguity.

(note to self: start marketing emoticon signs on paddles)

The easy answer, of course, is that I don’t do it all. My house is a mess, I’m constantly pushing back my own personal projects to meet deadlines for client work and my pile of unread books grows each day. I don’t do everything I could be doing with the kids and sometimes I lose patience and use my yelling voice instead of my “let’s work on this problem together and find a solution” voice.

But, you know, I am going to stop for a moment with the modesty and acknowledge that I do get an awful lot done for a mother of five boys who doesn’t have a staff at her beck and call. And it’s not because I’m that much more competent or efficient or inherently better than anyone else. When I think about it, the reason I can push on and keep going even when it’s rough is because of these three things:

 

1. I have work that aligns with my values. It’s vital to me that I have the chance to be creative and look for new ways to solve problems in anything I do. I’ve had jobs before that weren’t bad on paper but didn’t allow for much initiative or innovation and I was miserable. In the work I do now, I do have to honor the client’s guidelines and meet their goals, but the difference is that it’s not only tolerated that I find creative solutions, it’s expected. Motivation comes easy when your work aligns with your values.
2. My work can be very meaningful. It feels good when people tell me that something I wrote helped them in some way or gave them a good laugh or made them think. I feel a lot of pride in using my skills to give people useful information that can make their life better. I’ve also been able to meet so many people from so many walks of life through my writing. It’s easy to work hard when your work gives you so much personal satisfaction.
3. I have a lot of support. My husband is as committed to my success as I am and takes up the slack at home. It would be easier for him if I had stayed a full time wife and mother but he understands that my work doesn’t only help financially, it’s also a source of personal fulfillment for me. So many of my fellow writers like Sean Platt and Alisa Bowman and my coach, Tim Brownson have taken the time to mentor me and my friends and family have been unwavering cheerleaders. The hard times don’t seem so difficult when you have so many people to turn to for support and guidance.

If you feel like you’re not getting things done, I’d suggest you ask yourself these questions:

• Do I really want to do all of this or do I just feel like I should want to?
• Am I spending my life doing things that align with my values? If not, how can I move towards a life that does?
• Do I have enough support? Am I surrounding myself with positive people that urge me forward instead of holding me back?
• Do I feel like what I am doing has any meaning? How can I reframe my experiences so that I can see the good in them?

And since this was a bit of a serious post in the midst of my usual not so serious ones, I will end with one last very useful piece of advice:

If you’re going to try and sneak in a few emails while your kids are awake, make sure you put all nearly empty cans of frosting in the bin outside, not in the kitchen trash. Most children have no compunctions whatsoever against digging it out and having a nice snack.

How do you do it all? Do you find it easy to muster up the motivation to keep on going?

 

Tagged as: coaching, life coaching, motivation, values