Or, more plausible explanations for inexplicable crap
photo credit: popmayhem
If you are new to this blog, you can read an explanation of what Plausible Explanations for Inexplicable Crap is here. Ideally, this would be posted on a Monday, but sometimes life happens.
This week’s question comes to us from Two Hands and a Roadmap:
I have one for you: What makes a person cut me off when driving when he’s just going to turn right in two blocks? Wouldn’t it make more sense to wait until I drive by, so I don’t have to slam on my brakes (1) to avoid hitting his ass end when he pulls out in front of me and (2) when he turns 10 seconds later?
I can relate as a few days previously, I’d written on Facebook:
So, you’re driving to the left of me and need to get into my lane – you could either speed way up, cut right in front of me and brake hard to make your right turn, or slow down and slip in behind me, where there are no cars for miles. Which do you choose? Explain yourself.
The short answer is that they are cretinous doodyheads but everyone knew that and I like to think that you come to me for the answer behind the answer, which I will give to you using as many impressive words as possible so that you will nod knowingly.
So I thought about this and realized that there are two problems which cause people to act so illogically. The first is people tend to have a natural desire to compare themselves with others and come out ahead somehow. You know the saying “It’s not enough to succeed. Others must fail.”
For many drivers, this translates to “It’s not enough that I should get to my destination safely and in a reasonable amount of time; others must yield to me.”
The second factor is that most people put blinders on when it comes to problem solving. They see your car coming and it becomes an obstacle that must be overcome and fixate on how to get in front of you without considering that going after you have passed is also an option.
When we think of problem solving, we tend to think in terms of more. More speed. More strength. More agility. We don’t think in terms of less when it comes to figuring out a way to get what we want. This can lead to some reckless decision making that doesn’t always work out the way we planned.
Many years ago at an AWANA meeting, we were playing a game that involved four teams of two people each holding onto a rope circle. There were four bean bags, each in one corner and each team was standing pretty much with one bean bag placed diagonally behind them just out of reach. The objective was to somehow tug and get your team to a bean bag and scoop it up.
Now, at the time, I was a scrawny young thing, not known for my strength or coordination or having any sort of physical skills, really. And I was partnered with an even younger, smaller, meek slip of a girl. The other three teams were much larger and stronger and it seemed inevitable that we’d just be pulled along helplessly while they duked it out.
I really hated losing anything but this seemed like something I just couldn’t win. But then I realized, they said a bean bag, not the bean bag closest to you at the time the game began, just a bean bag.
So I whispered to my partner that she should just follow along and do whatever I was doing.
“Shouldn’t I pray?” she asked. And I was like okay, sure, but really I thought my plan was sufficient. Still, couldn’t hurt to have a backup.
The whistle blew and as I predicted, the 3 teams were fighting each other hard, each trying to get to their bean bag. I waited to see which way we would be pulled and once I was close enough, reached over and grabbed the bean bag of the team next to us and won the game.
What does this have to do with driving? Simple. If only other drivers were able to evaluate the situation from all sides and come up with a solution that didn’t involve putting everyone around them in serious danger then they would be smart like me and not cretinous doodyheads.
And because it’s now stuck in my head, enjoy the AWANA theme song:
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