Or, come on, somebody had to look into this
Just Busted Dec 29th edition front page
My husband picked this up for me from Mapco last week. You know what the main benefit to being married to me is besides all the food experiments? Getting to go out and buy trashy periodicals that your wife is too embarrassed to be seen buying. In my defense, I usually have 2-4 small children with me and it really isn’t seemly to be buying such things while your children are running around like Tasmanian devils at the checkout. I don’t even like to buy soda or cookies when I’m out with them and they are in such a mood because I can just feel people behind us giving each other knowing looks and nodding.
I wonder how they pick the mugshots to put on the front page? I picture a smokey room with one of those old timey light tables and a bunch of slides and a couple of grizzled old timey newspaper guys wearing suspenders and smoking cigars while they try to get the right balance of pretty young things to wild eyed PCP users.
Just Busted Ad
One of the things I like to do when flipping through a new publication is note the advertisers. It can tell you a lot about who their readers are. This ad makes sense even though it cracked me up how it was plunked right down in the middle of the wall of arrested folks on the front page.
Just Busted Ad
Um, yeah, it’s good to know you don’t need a title to get cash for your junk cars. I am intrigued by Lou Jacks and their promise of tender and tasty food and might make a visit even though every time I go down Winchester Rd I swear never again because people just plain forget how to drive the minute they turn on to it. Memphis people, you know what I mean, right?
Just Busted Ad
It’s good to be reminded that redemption is possible. It would have been nice if they’d included a coupon like Lou Jacks. $25 is a lot of money to come to Jesus!
Holiday Drunk Tank
They had seasonal features like the Holiday Drunk Tank.
Sex Offenders Near Grahamwood Elementary School
I pictured this being read by Chris Hansen, sort of like this: They are ALL, however, registered SEX offenders. Something interesting I noticed, most of the arrests for prostitution were “prostitution near church/school”. I think there was just one plain prostitution arrest. I didn’t notice this distinction with any other crimes. I wonder if there is any difference in sentence? Does this apply to Temples and Mosques, too?
A couple of people were also charged with “Initiation Meth Manufacture Process” but nobody seemed to have made it up to step 2 of Meth Manufacturing Process. I guess it’s good they are catching them at the beginning of the process.
Just Busted Cash Reward
This guy seems like he stepped out of a 1970s era blaxploitation flick. I hope they catch him, assuming he is guilty. When you call in a crime stoppers, do you just go and pick up a bag of cash money? Or do they give you a blank check? I admit, besides getting dangerous felons off the streets, I’ve always wanted to call in a tip to crime stoppers so I could solve this mystery.
Fun Fact!
It wasn’t all grime and crime, there were little nuggets of information scattered throughout the paper.
Just Busted Giveaway
Oh come on, that’s just some crass, lacking in couth shit there. Plus, I can’t find the fake one although I hope it’s “pedestrian soliciting ride/business”. What, you can’t ask a fellow citizen for a ride any more? What kind of business? Any business? Be specific, you can’t charge people with these frustratingly vague charges!
I wonder if they run the contest as a kindness, to give those pictured in the paper an out. “Oh no, I wasn’t arrested. Ha! I was the fake mug shot. I can’t believe you didn’t pick up on that. Oh what a riot! Make sure you send it in for the drawing. I hope you win! Oh man, wait until I tell the guys you thought I was really in Just Busted. Classic!”
All in all I have to say this is a publication without much redeeming value. I’d wager most people don’t go into committing a crime thinking they’ll be caught or are in a position where they aren’t thinking clearly (drug addiction, impulsive acts of anger) and the prospect of embarrassment isn’t much of a deterrent at the moment where they are making the decision to commit a crime. I don’t really feel bad for the people involved, if they are guilty, but it just doesn’t seem to be in the best of taste. I won’t buy it again now that my curiosity is satisfied. Too much like watching Jenny Jones. You like it while it’s on, but after you feel somewhat filthy and subhuman.
P.S. I did not find my prosti-ganger in there. I bet she was just Asian and didn’t even look like me. Pabo cop.
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