I went to go pick up some rice yesterday

Or, one day I am so going to get banned from every store in the tri-state area

I actually bought some of this flab steak, thinking it was flank steak but it turned out to be skirt steak. It was pretty good with a bulgogi style marinade. And yes, I think it is turning to flab on me as we speak.

Yeah, yeah, yeah I know what they say about buying meat that you don’t rightly know what it is. Pah, I say, pah. I will continue to buy mystery meat and take my chances.

I am a complete sucker for anything that says “assorted” on the package. I don’t know if faux meat with carrots and crap is what most people think of when they hear the phrase “assorted Oriental delights”, though.

I didn’t see these spicy peanut cuttlefish wheat balls when I bought the original flavor ones that I reviewed last week. Oh Dr. You, what other surprises do you have for me?

Here are some doctor endorsed crackers or cookies. I’m not sure which, my stealth camera skills are still lacking.

I think this lady is a doctor, too. Mmmmm, pineapple Oreo-style cookies.

Not only do these look tasty, I like that his hat looks like a jalapeno pepper.

Lye water: Not for drink gives me the giggles. You know like it’s a lie of a water because you can’t drink it.

Shut up, it is too funny.

Does anyone know what sort of fruit this is because I have no idea. I am, however, intrigued. I might have to buy this next time. It looks like a sea anemone swallowed a huge water chestnut.

Why have boring single-species goldfish crackers when you can have these? I wonder if they really have eyeballs or if that is just an artist’s rendition.

Speaking of Goldfish crackers, don’t these octopus flavored chips look like ruffled Goldfish rather than octopi? Okay, I’ll grant you that it’s probably very difficult, more difficult than those of us not in the snack food industry could imagine even, to make a chip with 8 slender arms. Probably making them isn’t so much a problem, but making them so that you don’t wind up with a bunch of bodies at the top of the bag and broken off bits of arm at the bottom is not a simple matter. Not by half.

Can you imagine a factory owned by squid with squid workers? They would be super efficient at screwing on the bottle caps, much better than those two-armed fools Laverne and Shirley.

I don’t know why I didn’t just buy these, because you know I want them. Oh fake yogurt flavor, I am your captive.

And that’s my shopping done until we make our way through this 20 lb bag of rice I bought, which takes far less time than you’d think. A ridiculously, embarrassingly short amount of time, really. Like, it seems like entire small villages in some parts of the world could make a bag of rice that size last for longer than we can.

Tagged as: dr you, flute wafers, octopus flavored chips, peanut cuttlefish snacks, pinapple cookies, rambutan, squid brand fish sauce, the museum of snack foods I, Winchester Farmer's Market, yogurt yan yan