Or, I will not be cowed by the powerful Vienna sausage lobby
A can of Schwartenmagen and a can of Spam
My brother, aka Pupa eater, brought me this can of Hausmacher Schwartenmagen (head cheese) made by EDEKA when he came to visit me this summer. I wasn’t sure I wanted to try it, but the picture on the front wasn’t that gross and after all, I do eat Spam. Not all the time, mind you, and I try to do it ironically, whatever that means, but yes, I am a Spam eater and I’m not ashamed to admit it.
The grody pictures are after the jump, so here’s your cue to leave if you don’t care for that kind of thing.
See, it just looks like bumpy sausage on the can, doesn’t it?
Although I probably should have looked up the words I wasn’t familiar with on the can before I opened it and tasted. Schwartenmagen just never came up in German class. I guess Rocky Mountain Oysters isn’t a term they teach in English classes until you get pretty advanced, probably graduate level however, I can’t help but think that maybe in Foreign Language 101 one of the little sidebars in the textbook should be “Names of foods you might not want to try”.
Spam and Schwartenmagen
As you can see, Spam is a bit more processed than Schwartenmagen. Spam contains pork with ham, salt, water, modified potato starch, sugar and sodium nitrite. The head cheese contains 65% pork, Schwarten (which as far as I can tell means rinds), potable water, Nitripokelsalz (which I bet is the same as sodium nitrite), herbs and spices, flavoring, preservatives and sugar type substances. So, I guess they are pretty comparable in terms of ingredients.
Head cheese (Schwartenmagen)
Oh but what a difference a whirl through a blender makes!
The parts that look like meat didn’t taste too bad, a little salty and stringy and with a scent of something like cloves or allspice, but not terrible. The huge hunks of fat or rind though? Couldn’t get it down. I put it in my mouth, but I couldn’t bite all the way down and had to spit it out.
In looking up headcheese, I found that it’s made by boiling a pig (or cow) head, stripping off the meat and putting it back in the stock, which jellies because of all the um, whatever it is in animals that jellies. I also found photos of some headcheese that was thinly sliced, like deli meat, and think perhaps it might be easier to eat that way. A thin strip of fat, why that’s just bacon, isn’t it? Huge honking bite covered with animal bone goo? Yeah, I think you have to grow up eating it to like it.
I think that’s the beauty of Spam, all of those white bits are homogenized into the pink bits and so you get the benefit of the unctuous delight that is pork fat evenly dispersed throughout. Oh yeah, sure it’s a rectangular, lightly goo coated pink slab of meat in a can, and as such an object of ridicule, but as processed and preserved foods go, it’s not that bad. In fact, it’s delicious, as my recipe for kimbap will prove.
And although I couldn’t eat the headcheese, by golly, I respect the headcheese and all it represents. It’s not its fault that it isn’t as palatable to me as Spam, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to diss it on the internet.
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Nowhere in there did I see you fried the head cheese. That, my dear, is the only way I’d eat that gunk. You have my total admiration. BTW, you need to harass JD because she once said she’d eat head cheese and blog about it. Tell her she’s dragging her feet and she WILL be held accountable.
Junk Drawer Kathy´s last blog ..Any Chicago Area Cat People in the House?
Seriously, I would have much rather JD done this for me than a MRI! I watch House, I know what happens in an MRI! Eating headcheese for me would have been much more useful.
Oh well, at least now I will be getting all the lucrative head cheese traffic. The internet riches, they are mine.
I don’t eat head cheese even though I am Polish & they have a lot of different kinds at our delis. My grandparents used to eat it years ago, but I just did not even want to try it. UGH! At least you tried it. Although I have never seen it in a can.
Collette´s last blog ..Happy Holidays or Bah Humbug?
It seems a weird thing to can, doesn’t it? I guess it would be handy if you got stuck in a blizzard and had a huge hankering for some head cheese.
If you look up head cheese on wikipedia, it seems that almost every nation has its own version of head cheese. Who knew that would be one of the universal human experiences?
I read this earlier today when I was eating McDonald’s hash browns. That one picture kind of looks like a hash brown . . . kind of.
You’re brave for trying this delicacy. I’m not sure I could do it. And I knew SOMEONE would bring up the fact that I said I would. KATHY! I’m coming for you!
JD at I Do Things´s last blog ..I Had an MRI so you don’t have to
You still eat McDonald’s hash browns after the whole kitty puke thing? And people say I’m weird!
Since I already did the head cheese, I think you are obligated, by the blogger’s code, to try the canned tripe in milk that I posted on the Facebook fan page.
THE BLOGGER’S CODE!
Never tried either… don’t plan on trying!
vered | blogger for hire´s last blog ..Former Miss Argentina Dies After Cosmetic Surgery
But…but..but the Spam is crazy tasty! CRAZY! It says so on the can!
You are the Queen of my world. Not only do I respect you–I’d be able to bring you home to mother! I, too, am a SPAM eater…..(shh, I’m not as brave as you to shout it from the mountain tops) Rock on!
nandoism´s last blog ..Reunited and it Netflixs so Good
Oh, I bet I’d love to hang out with your mother.
And you know, I think it says a lot when a gay guy who gives oral sex advice on his blog won’t shout his love for Spam from the mountain tops. Society has such a long ways to go. ;-p
As a veggie most things don’t bother me, and I used to eat “head cheese” thinly sliced in sandwiches with mustard. Sliced thin it’s very more- ish. But Tracy, stop with the spam. The spam is bunker food, and then only to be eaten when near everything else has been eaten. I used to share a house with someone who thought the way to eat Spam was to fry it, nothing that smells that bad when you cook is actually food – and when the smell lingers around the kitchen for days…ewww. Tinned tripe? REALLY? Oh dear, oh dear.
Oh, there are a ton of things that smell a lot worse than spam and linger for a lot longer. Like really old kimchi, yummy, yummy!
I love Spam! Especially with scrambled eggs. Mmmm… If you slice it kind of thin and pan fry it so the edges get almost crispy, and then pile hot freshly scrambled eggs on top with some black pepper. Yum! And since the Spam is so salty you don’t need to salt your eggs at all. I’m glad they came out with those single serving size Spam slices in the little pouches. I never can eat a whole can before it goes bad since I’m the only one who likes it. I’m waiting for them to make it in the Lite version so it won’t be quite as salty (and I think it actually has less fat too). Have you ever had Spam musubi? It’s like Spam sushi. I had it from Genki Sushi in Maui. It was good!!
Surfie´s last blog ..Mellow Yellow Monday
See, that’s what I’m talking about! I don’t eat Spam very often because of the sodium and fat, but it’s really not much different than bacon or sausage.
I’ve never had a genuine Spam musubi, but growing up, my mom used to fry up some Spam slices and give it to us with rice, kimchi and squares of toasted Nori so that we could make little wraps. So, so good. I also like Spam fried rice.
Spam squares in spaghetti sauce is where I draw the line, though, that and leftover hot dogs. My mom used to treat spaghetti sauce as a handy receptacle for recycling all sorts of leftovers. Bleh.
Just followed your link to the kimbap. There is apparently another version of Spam sushi! Here is a link with a picture of Spam musubi: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spam_musubi
Surfie´s last blog ..Mellow Yellow Monday