Or, I have 3 or 4 upbeat posts in the works but it’s just not happening today so let’s get this out of my system, shall we?
I know I was just sick but it turns out I am sick again. Or a continuation of the other sick, who knows? The good news is I must not be that sick, because I still have the energy to be very, very grouchy. How grouchy?
- Dear Leaves: I don’t understand why you have to be so FREAKING LOUD when you fall. I wasn’t going to tell you this, but that’s why people like snow better, because it is quiet. Maybe you should learn something from snow.
- Dear Husband: I know I should have been irritated by this on Saturday when it happened, but it really didn’t hit me until today that I don’t like it when you reach across and honk my horn for me while I’m driving. I know that idiot bike driver shouldn’t have been in the middle of the street going 2 miles per hour, but I must insist that I retain sovereignty over my horn.
- Dear people who don’t have anything against children but can’t stand it when parents don’t do anything about it: Please, I am begging you tell me exactly what you’d recommend I do. Because I am fresh out of ideas. My idea for you is that you take Bono’s advice and tonight thank God it’s me instead of you.
- Dear Leaves: okay, I lied, I don’t know if most people prefer snow to you but I don’t feel bad about it because I had my reasons.
- Dear Self: I know you thought it was a good plan to promise the kids a trip to the playground if they napped, but now they are napping and you don’t want to follow through because the leaves are too loud and hurt your head. How are we going to get out of this mess?
- Dear Sonic: I hear you over there telling me hey, bring the kids to me for some happy hour cherry limeades! You won’t even have to get out of the car and they’ll forget all about the playground. Nice try. You are a sneaky little drive in restaurant, I’ll give you that.
- Dear people who will be outside of the school today talking loudly on their bluetooth headsets about their personal business as they wait for their kids: You look crazy and from what I hear your lives are Springeresque messes. Just sayin’ is all.
- By the way, if it is raining and you are in a crowded place with people trying to walk, you don’t need a stadium sized umbrella. Seriously, why do people do that? This is why they invented the raincoat so that you can keep yourself dry without poking people in the eye with your umbrella spokes.
- Dear person looking for something on the floor of their car while driving 20 miles per hour on a 35 mph stretch of road and totally messing up my plans to turn left: While I’m not blaming you for my sickness, the extra stress today couldn’t have helped. I hope you aren’t reading this while driving, although I wouldn’t put it past you.
- Dear kids: I can hear you up there playing and I think this lets me off the hook for my promise to take you to the playground. I will probably still take you anyway, even though it is most likely sending the wrong message, because it’s better you make a mess in nature than in my house.
- Dear Self: Are you crazy? Hit publish and run upstairs and see what they are doing. Remember that mess with the lotion and oatmeal bath powder?!?!
{ 21 comments }
You’ve hit the nail on the head on several points there. Especially with the people that can’t stand it when you don’t do anything about your kids. I think what tops my list on that is it when people that don’t have kids try to give you advice on what you need to do with your kids. Because, you know, they are experts because they watch Oprah and heard somewhere on the Internet that that is what you are SUPPOSED to do with kids.
Super Mega Dad´s last blog ..Legoland – The Day After
Heh, I get what some of those folks are trying to say, but a lot of the time it just seems so gratuitous. Like saying “I don’t have anything against elephants but I can’t stand it when their trainers let them stomp on big eared children and pull down circus tents” Seriously, what is the point of saying that?
Although to be fair, our fellow parents can sometimes be just as judgmental and pompous as people without children.
Every little noise is bugging me today too.
And I am totally with you on those umbrellas that are bigger than my apartment.
Kim Woodbridge´s last blog ..Biketoberfest: Benefit for the Bike Coalition of Philadelphia
As I was doing the school pick up today I remembered I should have added that if it’s not so much raining as maybe a bunch of birds got together and decided to spit, those umbrellas are thrice, THRICE as hateful.
Oh, my dear. You’re really having a bad time of it. I’m sorry. I just got over being sick for two freaking weeks and I know your pain. Tell you what. How ’bout I come over while you’re out and shake down all the trees so there are no more leaves to fall. I’ll even rake ‘em up for you because I haven’t exercised in like seven weeks and I gotta do somethin’.
Oh, and I’ll throw out my gigantor umbrella. It was given to me as a gift and it keeps me and six other people dry at the same time, but I know how much it bugs you now, so I’ll go back to using the skimpy kind you fold up and put in your purse. It’s OK that I get wet. I’ll know it’s for the greater good.
Feel better, chickadee. Better days ahead!
Junk Drawer Kathy´s last blog ..How to Make Nipple Cupcakes
Oooh, isn’t getting back on the exercise track hard? I think that’s why I was so frustrated this afternoon, I’d just gathered up the willpower to start doing things again and then bam! back to feeling like crap. I actually did have a good cry about the unfairness of it all, which made me feel so much better and I forgave the leaves.
I will delete your comment if you want though so that he-that-rakes-the-leaves doesn’t try to take you up on it. I am a good friend that way.
And you can keep your Umbrelliza just use it in wide open places like the prairie. One day I’ll have to take a video to show the world the ridiculousness of the umbrella situation at my kid’s school on rainy-ish days. You know what it’s like? You know that Alfred Hitchcock movie with the umbrella scene? It’s like that, only more crowded and with lots of little people.
But the worst thing is, IT ISN’T EVEN REALLY HARDLY RAINING AT ALL!
You know, thinking of it, this isn’t so much a subject for a blog post as a strongly worded letter to the editor of my local paper.
I TRY not to promise my kids anything, ever. Unless I really need to bribe them.
vered | blogger for hire´s last blog ..Restaurant Salads Scare Me
That is a good policy! I know every time I promise the kids something just as the last words are leaving my mouth, I’m regretting it.
It seems like it did them a world of good to be outside playing and I was going to feel icky no matter where I was. That’s the good thing about having a tribe of kids, I didn’t feel bad about not playing with them, since they have plenty of playmates!
First, I hope you are feeling better, emotionally and physically. I seriously think there should be some sort of service (perhaps nuns?) who take your kids off your hands when you are sick. I will confess that I recently bought one of those stadium sized umbrellas recently. I was sick of always being the one who was getting wet–because that’s what we mothers seem to do. We starve, so the family can have all the food. We get wet, so the rest of the family can stay dry. So it seemed like if I had a bigger umbrella that we could all fit under there. Problem is, it’s so big that it doesn’t fit in my purse which means it never leaves the car, which means I still get wet.
Alisa Bowman´s last blog ..A Short Guide to the Good Life
I have a huge umbrella, too that stays in the van. Well, it’s supposed to but when my husband vacuums the van, he always brings the umbrella and diaper bag in. I don’t say anything though because he might tell me to clean my own dang car.
Confession: until last year I was always the lady that had the obnoxiously big double stroller everywhere. This year, we’ve been able to graduate to one small single stroller but every day when I see the mom at school with twin toddlers, I feel for her.
Okay, the horn thing? That would make me crazy. The person who is driving the car controls the horn. And the wipers.
Yep, we all have those days.
RC – Rambling Along…´s last blog ..Nevermore
And the radio! When I say I need quiet to drive, I don’t mean the radio! I need my classic American Top 40 with Casey Kasem from 1983!
Aw hell, Tracy. ANYONE can write a mamby-pamby upbeater. It takes a real writer to put one out there worthy of posting on Craigslist R&R section.
You go, girl
George
George Angus´s last blog ..A Nimble New Blog of the Week
Heh, maybe I should just post on Craigslist!
Next time I run into one of those people with the stadium-sized umbrella, I’m tempted to close mine, and hover under theirs with them. They annoy the hell out of me and I get the sideways glance from them because I’m in THEIR way! Geez…
I used to love those people who would give me and my stroller the stink eye for being in their way, because talking on the cellphone while walking doesn’t make people walk slower and stop suddenly and impede other’s progress, oh no.
Oh, man. No one better touch my horn. It’s not just a personal space issue but a “I am in the driver’s seat” issue. I am the pilot — you are the co-pilot. Feel free to waggle your head around to check the right and the left and the right again or to stamp down on the imaginary brake on your side, but leave the horn alone.
JD at I Do Things´s last blog ..I Ate Cat Puke so you don’t have to
Darn those leaves!
Great now you got it out of your system, so something good for you and deal wiht some of these issues another time when you feel really good.
Wilma Ham´s last blog ..Questions, the doors to our hearts.
I promise I only use my big umbrella when I am walking the dogs and covering my mum’s wheel chair….they are all gone now so I do not use it any more….I like my rain coat and pants with my great wide brimmed hat that puts the rain down the back of my jacket and into my shoes…
I would wear boots but none fit my calves.
I have to also say that not having toddler’s any more is a relief…I promised my youngest everything to get her to do anything…to get her to grow up ….and use words and not scream and yell at me….at 23 we are still trying to use words and have our first real job….I still pay for health insurance…and and.
enough this is too noisy for right now.
Patricia´s last blog ..The Life of an Apple Tree
Hi Tracey – Sorry you’re feeling sick again. It makes everything ten times more annoying doesn’t it? The couple over from me have wind chimes in the garden – idiots. Next time they keep me awake, I swear I’m going to steal them and give them to someone whose neighbours I don’t like.
Comments on this entry are closed.