It’s a rubbery sausage! Made of fish! And cheese!

Or, my unofficial entry into the IHMMB Scary Products Contest, with video

The packages sure are cute, aren’t they. Maybe the one with the boy holding the giant sausage and licking his lips is vaguely alarming, but mostly cute. My mom bought these for me at Winchester Farmer’s Market, where you can buy all sorts of international goodies. She thought my boys might eat them for after school snacks.

I wish I’d asked her what the package said, because all I can read is NEW EZ Cut just like the rest of you. For the record, the cut was not that easy, but it was somewhat satisfying to pop them out. Almost anything you pop will be satisfying, I find.

I always offer nutritional information, if available, as a service to my readers.

I wonder why they specified frozen whole eggs. Wouldn’t they have thawed by now? It makes me suspicious, like that’s code for something in the food industry.

Fish paste product, keep refrigerated, hmmmm. I only noticed this, oh as I sat down to write this post and it was on the shelf when we bought it and has been on my shelf since August. I am not dead yet so I think it must be CYA. Fish paste product does sound unappetizing, but I’ve used anchovy paste often enough so it doesn’t put me off.

Oh yes, that’s right, I love anchovies. Judge me, go ahead, I dare you. And I sneak it in my family’s food and they just think it’s FLAVOR, so there.

It looks kind of like a food product but really not.

It kind of perplexes me that the larger sausages in the container marked EZ cut did not have the EZ Cut opening, while the smaller ones in the package that wasn’t marked as such did. In any case, EZ Cut was marginally easier to open. Only marginally. Those little tabs are hard for old fingers to grasp!

Eh, not too appealing, is it? At first, it tastes like nothing but feels like squeaky, artificial cheese. Then it tastes like old, powdery dried fish. Which is not exactly unappealing to me, since I grew up eating whole dried tiny anchovies, head and all, but combined with the texture it was inedible.

As for the texture? Well I took a video to demonstrate. Excuse the messy back yard, we’ve had lots of rain and when it wasn’t raining we were busy. I would have made it longer but my kids kept screaming in the background. Can you imagine the kinds of food posts I’m going to get to do when they all go off to college? It’s going to be awesome.

By the way, my voice doesn’t really sound like that. It sounds much smarter. For reals y’all. Any my neighbor came home and saw me taking the photos on the front porch and he was all “Hi neighbor! How’s it going there?” so I told him I was taking pictures of this fish and cheese sausage to post on the internet because I couldn’t think of a good lie. I’m only a little disappointed that he didn’t seem to wonder why one would do such a thing, but I guess he’s seen a lot.

Tagged as: fish and cheese sausage, museum of snack foods, rubbery foods