Or, I have declared myself a Facebook guru

photo credit _Max-B
Now that the How to be Rich and Happy fan page has fiftysixtupled in fans, I feel confident in saying I am the go to person when it comes to building your online community with Facebook. FIFTYSIXTUPLED! And it started out with zero and I’m sure the amount of increase can be expressed traditionally, as a percent-number but didn’t you hear the part where it started with zero and you can’t divide by zero and I’m pretty sure division is required for percents but that doesn’t matter because the ROI in social media can’t be adequately expressed in numbers, it’s about the conversation. Of which I’ve had many these days.
But not in the Random People That Join Groups Then Ignore Them Forever Group, I did join and I thought about leaving a pithy comment, oh yes I did, but then I thought to myself, oh no, this is not a random act of joking for you my friend, this, this is inspiration. You are a maven, you go out and show them that using the right strategies it is possible to start a group that grows conversation, that webs people into a connection force so sticky that Spiderman would weep at the quiet beauty of your weaving.
And here they are, in no particular, the first groups I shower-thought just now:
Dang Y’all!
Photo credit: telethon
For people who appreciate the versatility of this not really cussing, folksy phrase. It can be happy:
- Dang! Y’all won’t believe who got into Yale!
It can be sad:
- Dang y’all, I didn’t get into Hoboken Junior Community VoTech Institute
It can be excited:
- Dang y’all! That’s my cousin on that high speed police chase on channel 4!
It can be what you say when there are no words:
- Dang y’all, I mean,it’s just…dang.
It works as a mild curse:
- Dang y’all I told you to cut it out!
I know it doesn’t seem like much of a theme or niche, but when you’re around people who say dang y’all a lot, the conversation just seems to flow naturally.
A Thousand Splendid Tracys
photo credit Wikipedia Commons/David Shankbone
It will start as a group for women named Tracy/Tracey/Traci/Tracie to gather and talk about what it’s like to have a name that ties you so strongly to a particular generation and fret a bit about what it will be like when Tracy is an old lady’s name, but not for too long, because if we are known for anything, we Tracys are known for being a peppy, can-do type of people.
There will be a small to medium bit of drama when the mostly black male Tracys accuse the mostly white(ish) female Tracys of excluding an entire class of Tracys but this will all be worked out with typical Tracy flair and there will be a few weeks of multicultural (but alas, not multi-generational) fun. This will end when the other Tracys accuse the Just-a-Y Tracys of being snobby and the Just-a-Y Tracys will seriously just not understand why they don’t all spell Tracy with just a Y to make life easier on everyone.
You might think starting a group you know will end badly is a mistake, but that’s why you are not a guru – dude, I can get 4 or 5 splinter groups out of this EASY.
Am I the only one who doesn’t care that…
Photo credit: SMN
This is where I get to offer a real service to people; I’ve been noticing when folks want to find other people on the internet who do not care for a particular thing, they are doing it all wrong. They go and find a group of people talking about that subject and that’s where they ask “Am I the only person who doesn’t care that…?” And what usually follows is a bit of bickering about who should care and why, which I’m sure was not what the not-carer was looking for.
“Am I the only person that doesn’t care that…” will be a safe place for people to gather and not care about things together, for whatever reasons they have for not caring.
I’m still on the fence on if I should make “Totally not on my radar” and “I have more important things to worry about” a part of “AITOPTDCR” or separate groups. Generally my philosophy is the more groups, the better but with this demographic I think I’ll need sheer numbers to keep the conversations going, what with them being so busy, not very attentive and not prone to caring. Probably I should wait to start this group until I get to expert guru level.
I would so kick their butt
Photo Credit: El Cabron
Have you ever read or heard about something happening to somebody or their girlfriend or kid or dog or package from UPS and thought to yourself, I might seem like just an ordinary grocery store manager or stay at home mom or high school student but if that had happened to me/my girlfriend/my kid/my UPS package I would have totally kicked some butt. Sure, it might not be the “prudent” thing to do, or even very “admirable” but me, I can’t help it, somebody messes with me/my girlfriend/my kid/my UPS package and I don’t know man, I just see red and I can’t control myself. It’s like the Momma Bear/Poppa Bear/Baby Bear/Post Office Employee circa 1980s comes out and next thing I know there’s a guy on the floor and people in a circle just looking at me like, dang y’all see that?
It hasn’t happened in an actual outside of my head way yet, but I have thought about it and yes, if it comes down to it, I will totally kick butt to protect myself/my girlfriend/my kid/my UPS package and I’m not afraid to say so. In fact, I often tell people who have had these things happen and didn’t kick butt just what I would do, so if it ever happens to them again, they will know how I would have handled the situation and act accordingly. Even though I’m an ass-kicker, I’m also a giver, you know? In fact, where’s “The people that know me, they’ll tell you I’m a giver” group?




