Or, I am shutting down the IHMMB forums
On October 14th, 2009 I will be shutting down the I Hate My Message Board forums in order to focus more fully on my blogging, family and other interests. There was no big precipitating event and nobody did anything wrong, however in thinking about what I did want from my life, running a forum didn’t fit in.
I don’t think it’s productive to go into the reasons I wasn’t happy running a forum and I don’t wish to spend time defending my decision except to say it was made for my own best interests, which I think is a sufficient explanation.
Instead, I think I’d like to talk about the reasons why I was afraid to quit because I think it’s something we’ve all been through and some of us have never been able to conquer, much to the detriment of our own well-being. Learning how to quit is just as important as learning how to persevere.
Here are my objections to quitting in bold and beneath the answer I finally came up with.
People will be mad at me if I quit, they are relying on me.
It’s good to live up to your commitments and to take other people’s feelings into consideration. However, they have other options and you can quit in the most responsible way possible. A sense of responsibility is excellent, but don’t forget your responsibility to your own self and goals.
Quitting is for losers
Quitting something that doesn’t work for you is not being a loser, it’s being smart. Continuing something that doesn’t serve you because of fear, that’s being a loser.
I am afraid others will think I am quitting because I can’t cut it
And how many of those people really know you? If refusing to go on doing something that you don’t enjoy is “not cutting it” be happy you don’t meet that standard.
I am embarrassed that I couldn’t make it a success
What was your definition of success? You really had no idea did you other than what you imagined other people would call successful. You were not trying to make your own dreams come true, you were trying to pursue success because that’s what you felt you should do.
I am afraid that I will never get another opportunity
How so? Will you be locking yourself in the upstairs bathroom for the rest of your life? All of us have luck, most of us fail to recognize it. You have already proven time and time again that you are one of those that can.
I am afraid of letting go because holding on is the best hedge against scarcity. Because I don’t know how people will react. Because I am afraid of regret.
You will be fine. You have taken risks before and always come through stronger than before. You will not have time for regret. You can do it.
I don’t think people should give up just because something is hard or they are frustrated, if what they are doing is moving them closer to where they want to be. However, here are no medals for staying stagnant. Working stolidly on something that isn’t furthering your goals is like running fast away from the finish line. You’ll get somewhere, but not where you want to be.
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Atta girl.You’ve given this a lot of thought and I think you’ve come to the best conclusion for you. It sounds like you’ve got your priorities exactly right.
Right on, Tracy! You obviously know what in life is important. I regularly ask myself those same questions, and arrive at the same conclusions. I had to put a bullet between the eyes of a dead horse of a blog earlier this year. It was hard and I faced many of the same concerns. But it was the right thing to do. Embarrassment faded overnight. Things move fast and you are able to move even faster. Good on you, Tracy. You rock.
Writer Dad´s last blog ..Jabberwock Softly
You done good girl, you put Rocky to shame with your eye of the Tiger style awesomeness!
I am a bit upset about Writer Dad shooting a horse though, I’m not sure there was any need for that and I hope you are not planning on butchering your readers.
Tim Brownson´s last blog ..Get Off Your Ass And Dance!
Best of Luck!
I wonder, will the blog name change since you will no longer have a messageboard to hate?
Good for you Tracy – you’ve really thought this through.
I’ve often had too many things going on so I started giving things up too. First to go was cleaning
And now you’ll have time to finish Physics and Shit and discuss it with me – LOL.
Kim Woodbridge´s last blog ..Fall Corn Chowder Made With Farmer’s Market Ingredients
I’ve been following your blog and you on twitter and can say anywhere you put your energy and zest for life is going to keep your readers happy. But more importantly you.
I think it takes more moxie to reevaluate and change direction then to keep doing something you’re not a hundred percent happy with anymore. You’re right floating down the stream will get you somewhere but will you like where you land?
CMcKane´s last blog ..Noses Grow & Not Just From Lying
Hi Tracy,
I think we all get to that point where we realize we have way too much on our plates and something has to go. In blogosphere or on the internet it seems harder as our audience is bigger. Like you said, we often feel we’re letting others down. However, if we aren’t doing what we’re passionate about, we’re also letting ourselves down.
This sounds like an exciting time in your life. I wish you well with your new endeavors and am betting they’re even bigger than your forums could have ever been. You go girl!
Barbara Swafford´s last blog ..Blogging Etiquette – Write The Wrongs
I posted on the boards before I saw this. Looks like I did get why you did it! At least parts of it. You go girl – do what’s right for you. You did a fine job with something that fell in your lap, but if it’s not what you WANT to do, it’s not worth it. Pass the torch to someone who really wants to do it so they can thrive. BTW – that’s not me. You go give that torch to someone else. Not it!
Good deal, Tracy! We all have to made tough decisions at times … and, me? I’m famous for spreading myself too thin (well, that comes second after famously putting my foot in my mouth over and over again). So, I COMPLETELY get what you are doing here.
Focus on what is most important for you. Is it okay to also say, “You go, girl!” ?
Mr. Nuggets´s last blog ..A Few More Things I Would Do If Today Were My Last
This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
Farewell; my blessing season this in thee!
– William Shakespeare
Love ya, Tracy. You’re the best. -Opi
Better to be good by concentrating on one thing than to be mediocre by attempting to master everything.
Writing is about choices.
CK Lunchbox´s last blog ..The Hypocrite
Way to go Tracy! I wish you nothing but sucess and happiness.
travit´s last blog ..Big Smile
Hi Tracy-
Sounds like you are definitely making the right decision. I’ve finally realized that I can change my mind. Just because I thought something was a good idea at one point, doesn’t mean it’s a good idea for the rest of my life. Whether it’s really finding out what’s involved once I get into something, or the fact that my needs and wants change as time goes on, sometimes I have to change my mind to stay happy and sane.
That’s how I’d try to think of this. Not that you’re quitting, you’re just changing your mind about it.
Take care,
Shades/Renée/R.E. Chambliss (my book is out now!
)
You’re making the right decision for you. You should be proud. Not quitting just for the sake of not quitting does not make sense at all. We are all allowed to try things and decide they are not for us.
vered | blogger for hire´s last blog ..Internet Addiction Rehab Center: Do We Really Need It?
“am embarrassed that I couldn’t make it a success”
Eh?
It was a raging success.
Knowing when to say when is just as important as sticking with it when you need it. Good for you! Why spend your life doing something that isn’t bringing you any value?
Wendy´s last blog ..Our Village
I congratulate you on making this productive decision for your life. And it just shows that you are not a quitter. You stand up for making the right choices and moving on to what you need to move onto. That is not a trait of a quitter.
A quitter is someone who gives up on having any dreams or goals. We are human beings and we’re allowed to reevaluate and change directions and this does not mean that we are quitting.
So I think you will be much happier with this as it won’t drain your energies so much. I totally understand what you’re talking about. I have managed groups offline and I know how much time and energy is invested in doing that.
Blessings to you,
Eren
Eren Mckay´s last blog ..Whitney Houston on Oprah I look to you cd release
Tracy,
Consider your back patted and the rest of you hugged.
I’ve seen you struggle with some of the things that are involved with running a forum. You hung in there longer than most.
It certainly wasn’t for a lack of trying.
Good on you for cutting it loose, I mean that.
I apologize for not doing my part to the best of my ability, but I know your decision was based on so much more than that.
How does it feel to have that weight off of your shoulders?
Cheers
George
George Angus´s last blog ..Am I Coming or Going – The New Blog of the Week
Hey if someone can quit being a governor and still somehow save her political career, YOU can quit your forums and remain respected, loved, honored and successful. I admire you for having the courage to do what you knew was needed, even though it was hard. That’s a lesson for all.
Alisa Bowman´s last blog ..How M&Ms got me a better flight
Way to go, Tracy!
It’s often much harder to quit something than to stay with it, and I’m glad you’ve taken that step.
Joyce´s last blog ..Weekending
Saying “no” is one of the greatest gifts that you can give yourself. There are only so many hours in the day. I understand and support this decision.
Thanks everyone for your kind and encouraging words. I decided it would be better for me to not be online excessively the past couple of days. It’s never easy when you have to disappoint people and while I’m glad that people got to express their feelings, some of it did sting .
I will not be changing the blog name because it’s really been functioning as one of those nonsense names like Super Funky SteamTrain Chicken for a while now. Plus, I have a lot invested in this URL!
Rhea, it was a success in some ways, but as far as figuring out a way to incorporate it into my own goals for my life, I never could find a way to make that happen. This is not to say I am not proud of my work and the community, more that I was never going to feel peacefully happy and accomplished with it, because it wasn’t what I really wanted to do.
Tracy´s last blog ..Dear Stephanie
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