Or, I am shutting down the IHMMB forums
On October 14th, 2009 I will be shutting down the I Hate My Message Board forums in order to focus more fully on my blogging, family and other interests. There was no big precipitating event and nobody did anything wrong, however in thinking about what I did want from my life, running a forum didn’t fit in.
I don’t think it’s productive to go into the reasons I wasn’t happy running a forum and I don’t wish to spend time defending my decision except to say it was made for my own best interests, which I think is a sufficient explanation.
Instead, I think I’d like to talk about the reasons why I was afraid to quit because I think it’s something we’ve all been through and some of us have never been able to conquer, much to the detriment of our own well-being. Learning how to quit is just as important as learning how to persevere.
Here are my objections to quitting in bold and beneath the answer I finally came up with.
People will be mad at me if I quit, they are relying on me.
It’s good to live up to your commitments and to take other people’s feelings into consideration. However, they have other options and you can quit in the most responsible way possible. A sense of responsibility is excellent, but don’t forget your responsibility to your own self and goals.
Quitting is for losers
Quitting something that doesn’t work for you is not being a loser, it’s being smart. Continuing something that doesn’t serve you because of fear, that’s being a loser.
I am afraid others will think I am quitting because I can’t cut it
And how many of those people really know you? If refusing to go on doing something that you don’t enjoy is “not cutting it” be happy you don’t meet that standard.
I am embarrassed that I couldn’t make it a success
What was your definition of success? You really had no idea did you other than what you imagined other people would call successful. You were not trying to make your own dreams come true, you were trying to pursue success because that’s what you felt you should do.
I am afraid that I will never get another opportunity
How so? Will you be locking yourself in the upstairs bathroom for the rest of your life? All of us have luck, most of us fail to recognize it. You have already proven time and time again that you are one of those that can.
I am afraid of letting go because holding on is the best hedge against scarcity. Because I don’t know how people will react. Because I am afraid of regret.
You will be fine. You have taken risks before and always come through stronger than before. You will not have time for regret. You can do it.
I don’t think people should give up just because something is hard or they are frustrated, if what they are doing is moving them closer to where they want to be. However, here are no medals for staying stagnant. Working stolidly on something that isn’t furthering your goals is like running fast away from the finish line. You’ll get somewhere, but not where you want to be.
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