I am so ready for a 3 day weekend

Or, the association of the burned out and fatigued is meeting at my house. BYOB, I am also broke.

I don't know who these people are or what they are doing, but it looks like fun. Photo credit: Petirrojo

I don't know who these people are or what they are doing, but it looks like fun. Photo credit: Petirrojo

There’s a ton of stuff I want to do these days and a ton of stuff I need to do or am obligated by federal, state and local laws to do and it’s at the point now where I don’t know if I’m coming or going and I get so overwhelmed that instead of methodically going about my business, I spend all of my time aimlessly clicking around on the internet. I’m sure you guys know the feeling. My entire online business is based on people doing just that! Go me!

So, I decided that today I would take good advice from an unconventional source and Stop, Collaborate and Listen.

Stop, take a breath, pay attention to what my body is telling me. Sit and let the calmness of the universe cradle and soothe me. Dissolve into a fit of giggles (sorry, this is always what happens after I relax. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO ANALYZE THIS!!)

Collaborate, people like me, they want to help me. Find out who they are and how much I can dump on them. The key is to give folks enough that they feel trusted and valuable, not enough that they realize you’re pawning all your work off on them.

Listen, what’s that sound? Does everyone know what’s going down but me? Figure out a way to safely ignore it, whatever is going down now is old news. There, dismissed, now I can concentrate.

I wrote a guest post that got rejected so I’m posting it here

I don’t know why it wasn’t published, I thought it was very good and very list-y.

Seven Ways to Lead a More Better Life

1. Be a sleeping beauty, not a wakey doody!

You must get enough sleep or you will be tired and have unsightly circles under your eyes. Most of the time sleepy people are very cranky and when you point this out to them they shout. Nobody likes a cranky shouter!

If you do not sleep 8 hours a night, you will get bored eventually because all those hours you were awake you were doing stuff and will soon run out of interesting stuff to do. If you sleep more, you’ll save stuff for other days and will probably not be tired of life until you are really old. Like 60!

2. H2O helps you so!

Not too much though because if you keep going to the bathroom, people might think you are:

  1. A cocaine addict. They might even follow you to the john and ask you for some which would be very awkward for all concerned.
  2. Pregnant. My husband asked me the other day with that tone why I was going to the bathroom so much. Like 3 whole times while we were at the movie theater. Hello?! We got there 2 hours early and I had a gigantic sized coffee to keep me awake and my allergies were bothering me. Duh!
  3. Bulimic. There is nothing funny about bulimia, trust me, I tried to think of something and couldn’t find a thing.

There are special bladder exercises you can do to try and train yourself to go longer between potty breaks, but frankly, I think it’s nasty to walk around with pints of pee just sloshing around in there.

3. Get the scoop on coupons!

It’s the secret the food industry doesn’t want you to know about! You can also buy stuff on sale!

4. Exercise will mesmerize in people’s eyes you’ll be right-sized!

If your body looks good other people will admire it and say “Hey you, you look GOOD!!!’ and that will make you feel good. I don’t know what will happen when you are all old and wrinkly, but I’m sure by then you will have saved up enough self esteem that you won’t miss it too much. Also, much easier to find cute clothes if your butt is right-sized.

5. Keep your mind active!

Yeah, I know Wheel of Fortune has gotten really scary now that it’s in HD but solving those puzzles is a great way to keep your brain nimble. Try not to yell at stupid ass dummyheads for buying vowels too much though, aggression is bad for your heart!

6. Hobbies are not just for the geeky and weird!

You can’t sleep all day so find something to occupy you in your spare time lest you start picking at your skin or plucking out your eyebrows. That’s what bored monkeys do, you know. Whatever you do though, don’t take up knitting, the world has enough people selling on etsy right now, thankyouverymuch.

7. Don’t eat anything with arms!

Trust me on this one. Legs are fine. Wings, groovy. But anything that has arms is really creepy and bad for your karma.

Happy living!

Oh yeah, before anyone points that out, I totally stole that post from a comment I left on another blog. Eh, it’s summer rerun season.

Speaking of other blogs, alibit did a really sweet feature on me in her blog, Alibit’s Curiosity Shop. There’s a lot of neat stuff there, check it out!

And I’ll leave you to ponder why on earth somebody would make a video tribute to Uncle Jesse with “Life is Life” by DJ Otzi and the Hermes House Band as the music.

Now I’m going to have to spend the rest of the day finding out what other B list stars have tributes with Europop soundtracks. This could take all day, maybe all week; I mean I bet there are dozens for Charles in Charge alone! Then, after that’s done, I’ll be in good shape to tackle my crap what needs doing.

Psst – if you haven’t already add I Hate My Message Board to your Facebook Fan Pages. I’m not sure what it will do for you, but it will make me look like not so much of a loser in front of my friends and family if it seems like I am popular. Thanks!

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