Or, this blogging this is hard, I need your help, y’all!
Photo credit ©D3 San Francisco
All of this life coaching has made me realize that it’s time to give back to the world. Now, I’m sure you’re thinking I’ve already given so much, what with revealing the what’s inside all of those cans of various meat matter, but the truth is, I have so much more to offer!
You might not know this about me, but I have a ton of skills. Talents. I am much learned in many areas. Not like you’d get a degree from, but I get many periodicals and publications delivered straight to my house and have read the entire ChildCraft Encyclopedia, 1976 edition even the volume for parents (I must admit that I might have missed some of that section because I had to put my hands over the pictures of cleft palate and measles). I am a person with answers.
There is a lot of inexplicable crap in the world. You just see something and go “WTH?!? WHY would somebody do that?!?” and you tell somebody else and they are like “WTH?!?! Seriously???” and all you can say is “I know, right?!?” Well you wouldn’t if you knew me because I am here to give you:
Plausible Explanations for Inexplicable Crap
Simply send me your inexplicable crap and I will offer in this blog a plausible explanation, drawing on my expertise as a layman sociologist, amatuer internet detective and born intuitivist. You can either use the contact form on this site or email me at ihmmb at ihatemymessageboard dot com or post it in the comments or Tweet it or however else you can think of to reach me. I am not picky about how people approach me for help, except for the love of Pete don’t post it on my Facebook wall, my moms reads that y’all!
BTW, I did not steal this idea from Blogger Dad and am not too proud to beg somebody to send me something so I don’t have to make up the question and the answer.
The other thing I need to announce and ask for help with is I have decided to go on vacation from May 21- June 2nd as the school year is ending and my sister will be in town. I’d like to take this opportunity to feature a guest blogger or two. What will you blog about? Really, it’s up to you. I’d love to see something funny and if you have some odd snack food or product to review with photos, that would be excellent. I’ve been toying with the idea of starting a Why I Hate My Blog series to go with Why I Hate My Message Board, I bet a funny person could do a lot with that topic.
Please send your submissions to the same place as the questions and I’ll let you know if I can use them! And if you have time during the week, check out the IHMMB Forums. We’ve got a lot of great discussions going on right now!
Thanks bunches!
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You thieving thief!
This actually sounds a bit more useful than my column. Since I already know everything about everything, I can’t think of decent question for you. However, I will keep my eyes open or refer the weirder questions from my bad advice column to you.
This sounds like a ton of fun. I’ll be back with a question after I’ve had some coffee.
I’ll have to think of something funny to write for you. Lately my sense of humour has been on holiday.
Joely Black´s last blog post..How the books get written
Where do all the millions of dead birds go and how come you don’t know anybody that has ever been hit on the head by one? They must be plummeting from the skies with gay abandon but I’ve never had one land on me or my car.
BTW, that is an extract from my up and coming book so it’s copywrited!
And not content with thieving from Blogger Dad you thieving magpie you’ve now thieved the link to my last highly amusing post.
WTF is a curl error 7? And no, that’s not my question. Get back to working out where the birds are.
@BloggderDad – I am pretty sure I am going to be the next Wikipedia.
@Tricia Oooh! I can’t wait!
@Joely not to put pressure on you, but I’d love to post something of yours. You are very funny! I bet there is a lot of funny stuff about writing books that people don’t know about.
@Tim Ha! You misspelled copyright so it doesn’t count! Because I am all about self promotion – read Tim’s Power of Procrastination post. He didn’t write most of it, but it’s still good. He did write the intro making fun of Twitter coffee drinkers. I’m all for making fun of that, except that last night I had the best cup of coffee in my entire life and I wanted to tweet it, but didn’t because I didn’t want my tweet to wind up in a lame tweet collage.
I am so looking forward to your next posts.
Vered – MomGrind´s last blog post..Bloggers Who Quit
I have questions like this all the time. But now that I am on the spot, I can’t think of a single one! I will come up with one and send it to you, though.
And I’m happy to guest blog here while you are on vacation if you are willing to have me. Just say the word.
Why do I avoid walking under ladders even though I don’t believe walking under ladders brings me bad luck?
Who ever came up with the idea that tossing money in a mall fountain could make a wish come true? I mean really. It’s just a commercial ploy to get us to part with our money and get nothing in return. Yet we keep doing it. Why?
How come slugs are only ever on your front walk way when you happen to step outside barefoot to get something. They are never there when you have your shoes on. Why is that?
Why are butterflies so many different colors?
My daughter thinks there are lots of stinky rocks underneath every highway. Is this true?
Where does all of the money go in a bad economy? Does someone hide it in their basement and bring it back out once the economy is good again?
Why are there still $2 bills in circulation even though they haven’t been printed for at least 20 years?
Who decided which faces would grace our dollars and change?
Why do bankers have such cush hours? Banks are almost always closed.
Why are bugs attracted to light bulbs?
How ever came up with the idea of a bunny that lays eggs?
Why do people drive slow in the fast lane?
Why do we have enough tax dollars to fund the Presidents Council on Physcial Fitness and the Surgeon General, but not enough to fund gym classes for kids or make sure school lunches include vitamins?
Is that enough?
Hi Vered! Me, too! I think they will be so much fun! Summer is time to let loose, I think.
Alisa! You are my hero! And I’d love for you to guest blog!
Here’s one. I was driving to the airport this morning, and I passed a rest area. In the rest area, there was part of a tractor trailer. The truck was gone, the load was gone. What was left was the trailer part, with an extra wide load banner on it, and the trailer was huge, orange, and it looked like the load was supposed to be round.
WTH? What on earth was going on?
Hi Tracy,
I’m happy to hear you’re going to take some time off from the blog. It will be fun to see who volunteers for guest posts and what they find, packed in cans to write about. Sounds rather scary.
Tracy, why do people who tend to gain weight keep eating unhealthy foods and way to much food overall?
Stephen – Rat Race Trap´s last blog post..Freedom From Commitment
@Heather, that’s a good one, I’m adding it to my list. Hope the move is going smoothly!
@Barbara, I can’t wait to see what guest posts I get. It should be fun! I am going to make you the designated RT’er for my posts in my absence.
@Stephen oooooh, I don’t know if I’m brave enough to touch that one! I might just be starved enough for attention though.
Guest posts huh? I just may take you up on that
I hope you have loads of fun with your sister! I’ll be meeting mine later this year
Samar´s last blog post..6 Occupational health hazards of freelancing
Hi Samar! I’d love a guest post from you, just send it on if you have time to write one. I’m really looking forward to seeing my sister again, she lives overseas and spent the last 6 months in Iraq with the University of Maryland, helping the troops continue their education while they are deployed.
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