“Black college students do not have the “where-with-all” to score an average or higher-than- average test score!

By “where-with-all” I mean GENETIC HERETARY BACKROUND .

Tara´s last blog post..10 things I say ALL THE TIME

Referring again to Shereen’s statement, “How is she most likely to see women of her skin colour in the media? Half dressed, and grinding around some blinged-out guy’s crotch.” I said above that I find this sort of thing more insidious than the KKK. I mean to say the KKK and other hate groups, perhaps even more than some of the larger-scale racism that used to exist everywhere and now exists less frequently and behind closed doors such as that boss who never hires minorities. I find the every day culture is indeed overwhelmed with negative images of minorities. Sometimes they originate from the majority, but not always.

I wonder about the men and women who make the types of music videos to which Shereen referred, if they think about the stereotypes they are perpetuating. That affects not only the mindset of the majority, but the minority as well. While not a cause of the core issue of racism, such things certainly play a role by defining the limits of what is acceptable and expected behavior, both from and towards minorities.

I hope we are able to address and squash those things. However, there are those other issues that I believe Mr. Raspberry addresses, those situations for which there are two equally viable interpretations. In the absence of previous experience to guide me or evidence to the contrary, I choose to believe the interpretation that does not include racism. Some may say I am simply burying my head in the sand or that I have that luxury because I am not affected. Perhaps, but I would argue that the side of me who looks at two equally viable interpretations and consistently chooses the negative one is the same one that will ingest some of that negativity and carry it with me. Not to be too cheesy, but a song lyric I like is similar to something my grandmother used to tell me. “Hate in your heart will consume you too.”

I wish I had the book with me now to give credit to the author, but something I read several years ago made quite an impression on me and I think of it regularly. A man attended a women’s studies conference and was engaged in conversation with two women there, one white and one black. The white woman said that when she woke in the morning and looked at herself in the mirror, she saw a woman. That was her primary definition of herself. The black woman stated that she did not see just a woman, but a black woman. The man admitted his confusion and said that he saw only a person and did not label himself by sex or color. One of the women said that he doesn’t see male and white in the mirror in the morning because those are the ways in which he is privileged in this country (U.S.). They are transparent to him, whereas the women saw those things which put them at a disadvantage and with which they had to deal daily. I thought that was the perfect way to describe it and often wonder how some people see themselves in the morning since it isn’t always so simple as this anecdote.

So, while I believe that racism exists and should be discussed and confronted, I am not sure I see it as often as others. I will freely admit that my perspective may be responsible for some of that, but at least as often I believe there are words, situations, and interactions wrongfully attributed to racism. For example, the phrase to call a spade a spade is often avoided in popular media and even casual conversation lest someone think there were racist overtones. Conversely, I don’t believe that consistently avoiding simple phrases or the like that have ever been twisted or incorrectly pulled out of context and turned into racial epithets is doing us any favors. In fact, I think allowing such things to shape our behavior gives them more power than they deserve and perpetuates negativity.

Shereen made a point about the images with which her daughter is overwhelmed and which are shaping her daughters self-image. I find that to be a much more insidious form of racism on the whole than the KKK. I find it more insidious than inappropriate racist jokes told among “friends” at work or other venues. Do I voice my offense at such racist jokes? Absolutely I do, though I wasn’t always confident enough to do so. But the discussion must continue to approach those overwhelming forces over which we sometimes feel we have no power.

I try not to dismiss the feelings of others when they find something offensive, whether it be from a racial standpoint or some other, when I disagree with them. Sometimes I am successful, and sometimes not. Often I find it difficult to articulate the ways in which I think offense can feed into the racism, the sexism, the homophobism, and so on that we are hoping to eliminate. I believe that looking for it, plucking things out of the small corners and shining a bright light on them, forcing them to come to terms with their potential racist connotations gives big power to little things and perpetuates not discussion, but negativity. I will defer to William Raspberry who so often seems to speak for me on the topic.

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The columnist maintained in Imprimus, “While our myth is that racism accounts for our shortcomings, {Asian Americans’} belief is that their own efforts can make the difference, no matter what white people think. They have looked at America like children with their noses pressed to the candy-store window: if only I could get in there, boy, could I have a good time. And when they get in, they work and study and save and create businesses and jobs for their people. But we, born inside the candy store, focus only on the maldistribution of the candy. Our myth leads us to become consumers when victories accrue to the producers.”
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Certainly, there are those who will disagree with me, and with William, and as always I welcome that and a chance for discourse on the subject. I have been amazed to find in the last few years that old dogs can learn new tricks and thus I am always awaiting the opportunity to learn a new trick. Except that I’m not old. Nope.

Sereen, I think this is so true:

“We live in a systemically racist society. And the whole point, and weight, of systemic racism, is that it is racism built into the core of our society, so nobody ever really has to commit an overtly racist act for racism to exist, and to act perniciously on various groups of people. In other words, if at the core of our societal beliefs is some sort of ‘us at the centre, them on the periphery’, then the racism just naturally flows from that with very little effort. Ditto the sexism, homophobia, classism, etc.”

A very interesting discussion!

Then I got my license.

I was lost, driving though Camden one afternoon. I stopped at a light and two black men crossed the street in front of my beat up little hatchback. I reached across the car and locked the passenger side door. As soon as I did it I froze. I felt guilt wash over me. I was afraid of myself for a good minute. Yes, I was in a dangerous place and yes, the men were tall and broad and could have broken teenage me in half had they wanted to. But I instantly knew that white men would not have caused that reaction. It’s been eleven years and I still feel bad about, still think about it. I imagine that when I am 80 I will feel not better about that October afternoon.

I can’t put my finger on ‘why’ that happened and that’s what plagues me the most. What subtle things had I been exposed to in those 17 years would have caused that in someone who thought herself so enlightened. And most importantly, what steps can I take to give my sons the tools for change. Lest they be pondering these same things when THEY are 80.

As a child I grew up believing (rightly) that everyone was equal. “We all bleed red,” my parents would say. Their parents however were extremely racist because of the era they grew up in. If I had children, I would raise them the way I was raised. I would encourage them to date outside their race, etc. When I married my husband (who is Irish) my grandparents questioned the fact that he is not Italian like we are. For me that doesn’t matter. I think each generation will be more tolerant and blend better. I also see so many interracial marriages that it will be hard to tell someones background in the future.

You and I grew up in an era where we did not see a black president until now. Our children (I don’t know how young your boys are) will grow up not knowing any different since Obama is in the White House. For them, a black president will be normal. For our parents, grandparents and great grandparents, this was not acceptable or normal, or conceivable

We are getting there!

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