The Paranoid Mom Reviews New Products: Cargo Comforters

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I came across this ad while going through the Sunday coupons in my local paper. Normally, I ignore ads for mail order clothing but something about the Magic Cling™ back pockets drew me in to take a closer look.

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Ad Detail

At first glance these seem like ordinary sweat pants, a pretty good deal at $12.99 per pair when you buy two or more. But look closer – Extra Deep “Hand Warming” Pockets. Why is “hand warming” in quotation marks? Is that just a euphemism for something? It must be, otherwise why the quote marks? And if it’s a euphemism, what on earth could they be euphemising? I can’t imagine it would be something non-pervy, probably involving sitting on a park bench watching ladies jog.

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Ad Detail

Zip Fly: No more droppin’ your drawers just to do numero uno!

That’s just unfortunate and doltish. And I’m just going to say it, I don’t think it’s manly to want pants that are as soft as a kitten.

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Ad Detail

The smiley face on the order form makes me sad and more than a little bit uncomfortable.

If, for some reason you want to order the Cargo Comforters™ and you are a gentleman of size, I would suggest that you use the order form, which states “Big Guys Same Low Price!”. If you go online to haband.com to order, they charge $5.60 more for waists XL and up.  I am not sure why this disreprency pisses me off, it just does.

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