Oh, wait. This is a HUMOR BLOG, which is obviously making fun of a pair of pants.

Never mind. I’ll keep reading.

Huh. This person doesn’t seem to “get” how pants such as these are sold. Nor does she/he understand the importance of the smiley face, without which, apparently, one would not be able to type in the proper code number.

Hmmm. Maybe I should just write the review here, since this person obviously doesn’t have a clue. 6 pockets . . . blah, blah . . . standard front pockets . . . etc, etc. . . . easy access if you’re wearing a coat . . .

Maybe a little personal information will liven up this review: I wear these pants on vacation! I load up the pockets with my wallet, maps, sunscreen, water bottle, camera, snacks, a small notebook for writing clothing reviews, souvenirs . . . the only problem is that when I drop my pants to “take a leak,” everything falls out.

Oh, wait! “Taking a leak” is a brilliant analogy of how this review “fires” but does NOT “aim.” HAHAHAHA!

Since men are the only ones who would ever appreciate pants with no zipper, I have to conclude that the “author” of this “review” is a woman. Figures. What do women know about pants? They should all be in the kitchen, wearing dresses and cooking our meals while we’re out hunting in our Cargo Comforters.
JD at I Do Things´s last blog ..I Bought a Bumpits so you don’t have to

Jim sounds like a real “pants aficionado” who should perhaps, oh, I don’t know, not look for pants reviews from a site like this?

Further, I don’t get why the zipper on these types of pants is considered a GOOD thing. I’d much prefer just to yank my pants down and do my business than have to unzip, and navigate both the pants hole and the underwear/boxers hole. Far easier to just pull down my pants, withdraw my weapon and aim all with one hand. I guess some of us are just better equipped than others.

These pants do look like they’d be good for the strip club, though. You know, for the whole deep “hand warming” pockets. Where do I place my order?

I was thinking about buying some of these pants and was checking for reviews. You do not, in fact, review the pants, only the ad. And you are way off the mark.

For example, the smiley face that freaks you out? It is simply a way to mark the code number you must type into the site to get the offer in the ad (the cargo comforters do not show up in the regular listing). So that means you never even looked at the page and got your “extra price for bigger sizes” info from some other pants.

The 6 pockets indicate they are real cargo pants (which have 2 standard front pockets, 2 back pockets and 2 cargo pockets). Some sweat pants lack back pockets. Cargo pockets are a good place to stick something bulky, because you don’t sit on them. Also good for easy access if you are wearing a winter coat or jacket. Also harder to pickpocket. I tend to wear cargo pants on vacations. The pockets are good for maps or a small bottle of sunscreen. Who needs 6 pockets? People who don’t carry purses!

I guess you’re all women because none of you understand why it’s easier to take a leak with a zipper (as in a pair of jeans) than by pulling your pants down. If you just tug on the waistband (after undoing the drawstring) you need one hand to hold the waistband down, one to open the fly in your briefs and another one to aim. But then, your whole “review” is an example of firing without aiming, since you have no information to back up anything you say.

Who is writing this smart ad copy? I am in need of some keyword rich product descriptions for SEO purposes – perhaps this guy is still available!

@ MurDup Lube?

@ MadFab I bet he’s the same guy that used to come into the deli where I worked in college wearing teeny tiny tennis shorts and then would sit with his legs spread wide.

“Easy access zipper” Hmmm, its not easy to stretch the elastic waistband to take care of business? I think it takes more energy to work a zipper.