In my inbox this morning, there was an email titled “Definition: The shootie” from Piperlime. It is, and I am paraphrasing from the email here, a hot new shoe product that is half shoe, half boot and everyone who is anyone is wearing them except for unfashionable people like me do not fit into skinny jeans and can’t really wrangle toddlers into strollers wearing pencil skirts and thus have no need of a shootie.
Can I digress for a moment and say that they ended their definition by saying “In other words, we love. Do you?” That phrasing, I do not care for it. It smacks of being entirely too pleased with oneself. What kind of people are entirely too pleased with themselves? People with low standards. Mmmm-hmmm.
Back to the Shootie, here is a picture of your basic shootie, from Anne Klein, it’s about $100 at Endless
Something kind of like Heelarious is what comes to mind when I think of a mix of “shoe” and “bootie”. BTW, Heelarious women, your product is mildly amusing at best and I find it an offense against good taste and genuine comedic achievement to call them “extremely funny”. Could you imagine the crap that would fill one’s e-mail box if one worked at Heelarious, Inc? It doesn’t bear thinking about, but I’m sure it involves getting that “If The 3 Wise Men Were Women” email every Wednesday. In fact, I bet they have Wise Women Wednesdays at Heelarious and drink crappy HFCS laden frozen margaritas out of marabou enhanced glasses and act “extremely wacky”.
But, that’s neither here nor there, what I’m getting at is “shootie” is not at all a proper word for something meant to go on the feet of grown women, particularly when they cost over $100 a pair. For that kind of money I expect some dignity along with my shoe leather! I mean, do they even really have to have a special name? Could they not just be shoes? You know who I blame? The person who came up with the term “mandles” and now everything has to be some sort of mashed up cutsie word. I think things were better back before the internet and neologisms took a while to catch on. That way, only the really good, useful words would make it, not crap like “shooties”.
And this is neither here nor there, but could somebody who knows shoes explain this to me and tell me if I should like it or not? Because I kind of think it’s ugly and am not sure why all the holes, but I’m willing to like it if somebody suitably glamorous tells me to do so.
Although seriously, how many things are going on with this shoe? You have the “strappiness” the “grommetyness” the buckles and then the two odd knots that look like they’d rub against the bone at the top of your foot and cause a blister. Oh, and the tiny high heel! Wouldn’t all those gee-gaws call for something more substantial to hold it up? It is perplexing! Although thanks to the hateful self satisfied ad copy writers at Piperlime I know that it would pair perfectly with skinny jeans or a pencil skirt!
Oh bells and butterchurns, I now find out there are Pooties, too. Here is a guide by a blogger called Newly Wedded Wife. Ha! When I was newly wedded, I had plenty of time for the shoebootiewootie, too.
