By Madame Fabulous
Photo credit ©iStockphoto.com/Andrea Skjold
A friend of mine once described a pivotal moment in a relationship as a “Cherry Blossom Moment”. The story behind the coining of this phrase involved a boyfriend who was sent on the errand of bringing her back chocolate. Chocolate, as we all well know, is the most important staple in the diet of most women. The poor, hapless man returned with a Cherry Blossom. For those lucky enough never to have encountered this abomination, Cherry Blossoms are low quality chocolate containing red syrup surrounding a well preserved maraschino cherry. They are unspeakably awful and an affront to chocoholics everywhere.
As he placed the small box of putrescence in her hand, she suddenly realized that this relationship had no future, for how could she love a man who would think this an acceptable treat?
Thus, the Cherry Blossom Moment was born.
Of course, not every relationship has that critical crux, that instant within which the end of the love affair unmistakably foretold. There are countless marriages, partnerships, and associations that continue without that fatal point of no return that defines the Cherry Blossom Moment.
We shall not speak of those here.
The Cherry Blossom Moment is not limited to the affairs of the heart. I’ve had them with almost every friendship, fellowship or community I’ve known. Sometimes, it’s been at the hands of an employer (once quite literally) where I suddenly realized that he or she isn’t the congenial friend who signs my paycheques, but is instead Beelzeboss, prone to psychopathic outbursts and prolonged reigns of terror. Others, it’s happened in the middle of a group function organized around a terribly important cause, in which I have looked around the room and knew to the very depths of my soul that I had nothing at all in common with these people and that I had, within seconds, grown to hate them all with a hatred pure and beautiful. It happened once when I found a roommate digging through my underwear drawer because she hadn’t washed hers. And I will admit that, as a new mother, I once looked around my home to see the piles of laundry that were threatening to unionize. I noticed the unwashed dishes and the rancid odour of an overflowing diaper pail. I caught my reflection in the mirror and took in my filthy bathrobe and ratted hair. Then I gazed upon a squalling infant who could not be placated by nursing, diaper changing, dancing the highland fling, nor my own pathetic cries, and I had a Cherry Blossom Moment. I suddenly realized that all the books romanticizing motherhood had lied, and that it was simply a lot of hard work and oh my lord I was committed to this demanding wee beastie for the next twenty years.
The motherhood Cherry Blossom Moment was a life defining one for me. It was then, you see, that I understood that a moment of complete dissatisfaction didn’t have to signal the end of a relationship. Because the fact is, most affiliations have their flaws. I have fought with my dearest friends, only to have that clearing of the air bring us closer. I have silently fumed over co-workers, only to find that they were my greatest advocates and allies when required. And the children: though they can surely blamed for each grey hair, they are also responsible for the laugh lines. Those I don’t mind. Much.
Cherry Blossom Moments may be of significant consequence within a relationship, but they need not be relationship ending.
Unless an actual Cherry Blossom is involved. In which case, the union is doomed.
Madame Fabulous–otherwise known as MadFab (more fab than mad)–has been a professional writer, actor, director, producer, occasional photographer and painter for most of her adult life. Her mother would argue that she’s been a drama queen from the get-go, however. She is a mother to three: Alexa, Theo and Ethan who she blames for the eternal house messiness, the ongoing pantry emptiness, the perpetual head-shaking oddness and the lifelong happiness. She was very recently married to the man who, for the record, she totally pegged as “That Guy” from the start.
Click here to read her thoughts on gardening.
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