Chicken Marsala and Ambrosia

This isn’t really a snack food, but sometimes my family needs to eat meals, too.

When I saw Romano’s Macaroni Grill Chicken Marsala and Linguine boxed dinner at my local Piggly Wiggly, I knew I had to get it, because it claimed to contain everything I needed (save chicken) including the marsala wine!

Do you like my kitchen? I really like the pink counters and brick pattern linoleum. I also like how something about the lighting makes all my pictures look like they are straight out of 1957!

Seriously, do not drain the water? Gah, did my mom write these instructions? NO MUSHY PASTA EVER!

Okay, is it just me or is that about as much pasta as I’d normally make for myself, for a light snack? Dang, I eat too much!

Sure enough, it does have the marsala!

Not only that but all sorts of dried wine, too! No wonder it kind of smells like what the un-PC among us call a “wino”.

Heh, not really related but you know how some Asian people lack an enzyme to properly process alcohol? I was thinking of developing an enzyme supplement to solve that pesky problem – kind of like Beano does for beans. I was going to call it Wine-O. I would have made a fortune, if only I knew how to isolate enzymes and put them in tablet form.

I’m not sure why I took my picture, but this is what the Museum of Snack Foods is looking like these days. I’m still getting settled in, that’s why my cereal bowls are so crooked. Hey, maybe that’s why I eat too much, all my bowls are giant sized!

So, of course I tasted the Marsala. It was pretty foul, but at least it was pretty weak. It tasted kind of like very salted watered down MadDog 20/20. Eh, I’ve had worse, once I drank almost a quarter of a 40 of Kool Colt 45 – yup, for a brief period in the early 1990s, they sold mentholated malt liquor. No lie.

Notice something? Right, despite this being a General Mills product, there is no Box Top for Education on top. I guess they know anyone who would buy this and serve it probably doesn’t love the children. They probably don’t even love themselves.

This is what it looked like cooking. To be honest, since I had to cut up the chicken and junk, it would have been just as easy to make from scratch.

By the way, sorry I didn’t take any pictures of the water in the measuring cups and such. I’m still an amateur at this blogging about cooking thing.

Here it is, on the plate. I have to say, it wasn’t as bad as expected. It tasted vaguely like Campbell’s chunky chicken noodle soup. I’ve found that I can stomach convenience foods that taste like convenience foods I had as a child. So, anything that tastes like Campbell’s Chunky Soups or Spam, I can taste that it doesn’t rightly taste good, but I can eat it. But say something we never had like Sweet Sue Chicken and Dumplings? Oh vomit. Blech. I can’t believe people eat that trash.

By the way, here’s a handy hint – when you are throwing away your boxes of crap food, hide them inside healthy organic food boxes. That way the guys that dig through your recycling looking for cans to exchange for MadDog money think you are a good mother.

Of course, we needed dessert after a fancy meal that had wine in it, so I popped open a can of Ambrosia

It is rice pudding! In a can! From the U.K.! That’s a jolly lot of sticky widgets, wot?

I don’t actually like Ambrosia, even the fresh kind in the refrigerated section, but I have to have it in the house because of this commercial:

Ooh aah it’s Am-bro-see-ah!!!!

Uh, it kind of tastes like you’d think. Bland. Mushy. Lumpy. White. Sorry U.K. I will stick with Jell-O brand shelf stable tapioca pudding for my bland, mushy, lumpy white food needs.

Tagged as: Ambrosia, Ambrosia Commercial Go West, Romano's Macaroni Grill Chicken Marsala and Linguine