More Stuff I Shouldn’t Do

I have a recurring dream where I register at a mommy board with a fairly innocuous name. Something like MamasFamily, or VickiL1984, you know, mommy board-ish. Then I take a few weeks to post here and there, establish my credibility, make myself known then start posting things like:

I don’t know what to do my brother’s wife is cheating on him even with his best friend. And everybody knows it but nobody will tell him. It makes me so mad but I don’t know what to do.

Okay, remember when I told you about my brother’s wife and how she’s cheating on him? He had to go out of town and she’s got men coming to the house. I mean, in their bed and everything. What am I going to do?

SHIT! My brother came home and his friend told him what his wife was doing! And he went over there with a gun and found a guy there already dead! Seriously, he walked in and found him shot dead and my brother totally freaked out and I mean, he had a gun, but he’s not the one that shot the guy. Anyway, he ran outside and tried to wave down the police by shooting the gun and now they’ve arrested my brother and I think they’re going to give him the death penalty. We live in a real small town and the police and the judges, they don’t care, it’s all about who you know here. What the hell am I going to do?”

And so on, until finally somebody says “That’s not your life! That’s The Night the Lights Went Out In Georgia!” Or at least I hope they would before I confess to murder on a message board and have to explain myself to the police when they show up. That would be blog fodder, I tell you what.

Share your ideas for stuff you shouldn’t do on message boards in the I Hate My Message Board Forums

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